Shades of Grey
by Weasleylover1
Summary: COMPLETE The loss of Sirius has left Remus feeling alone but it’s the last person he’d expect who could make him feel less so. The only problem is that that person’s quite happy with Remus being alone. SSRL slash (but mild) rating is overly cautio
1. Chapter 1

A/N: Hey, I'm back with a new story! Thank you to everyone who reviewed 'A Little Courage...' and I must say your encouragement really does help keep me writing. This fic's a bit different, it's still about my favourite Severus but it's told mostly from Remus Lupin's point of view. I'm warning you now that this fic is slash, very mild slash but slash all the same so if that's going to offend you here's the time where you make your exit. To be honest though the fic is more about friendship and dealing with loss and past mistakes than anything else. It contains spoilers for Order of the Phoenix as well. I think that's all I need to say so please read and if you're feeling generous drop me a review to tell me what you think.  
  
Disclaimer: The characters belong to J.K. Rowling and I am sadly not her. All I own is the plot.

Right, they seem to have altered document manger and I'm confused by it so if this is in a funny format I'm very sorry.

Shades of Grey 

_Remus' Thoughts_

**Emphasis**

Chapter 1  
  
One week into the Hogwarts summer holidays Remus found himself sat in the first Order meeting he had attended since Sirius' death. He had been unable to face the others all at once before today, and he was beginning to think that he still hadn't been ready. However he reflected that he would probably never have been ready but life without Sirius had to go on, there were plans to be made, a war to be fought and things weren't really any easier sat in a room alone trying to avoid everyone. That was things hadn't been easier alone until Dumbledore had started to speak about Sirius, then they'd all started. All praising him and reminiscing fondly in a way that is only possible for those who were not overly close to the deceased. Remus noticed Dumbledore quickly fell quiet and McGonagall simply nodded her agreement; clearly he was not the only person who found it too painful to speak of him yet, Tonks had tears in her eyes and wiped them away surreptitiously on her sleeve. It was with a surge of quiet anger that Remus saw Molly offer her a tissue, Tonks' body language made it quite clear that she had not wanted to be seen crying and he couldn't help but feel Molly was being insensitive by showing she had noticed.  
  
His attention was jerked from this though by Dumbledore speaking again, "Would anyone else like to add anything about Sirius?" He turned to the last person Remus would have expected, "Severus, do you want to say anything?" It was true that, besides himself, Tonks and McGonagall, Severus was the only one not to have spoken but Remus could have laughed at the idea that Severus Snape might wish to reminisce fondly about Sirius Black.  
  
Sure enough the potions master scowled at Dumbledore, "Nothing pleasant," he sneered.  
  
McGonagall gave him a reproving look and Moody opened his mouth to speak but was cut off by Dumbledore, who seemed to realise that asking Severus had been a mistake. "Right well I think that covers everything, unless anyone has anything else they'd like to raise?"  
  
There was a general silence.  
  
"Well then, we will meet again next week if not sooner. Good day everyone." Dumbledore nodded to them all and left with McGonagall.  
  
The rest of the Order members all filed out, talking amongst themselves, Severus receiving several unpleasant looks. Remus however remained sitting at the large table and as Severus was about to follow the rest out the door he spoke up in a quiet, bitter tone, "You know you don't have to always say what you think, Severus?"  
  
The dark haired man turned in the doorway, "What? That he was a spineless, mangy mongrel who got what he deserved, amusingly enough at the hands of his two female cousins? Actually, I'll think you find I **didn't** say that. I usually do tone down what I say you just have no comprehension of how much I hate you all." Severus' voice dripped with venom and the purest hate Remus could remember hearing.  
  
"Just stop it! Please!" Remus allowed his head to fall limply into his hands.  
  
Silence reigned for a few moments as the potions master stepped back into the room, closing the door behind him. Remus was about to speak, to break the tension that could have been cut with a knife, when Severus set a steaming goblet down roughly on the table beside the werewolf.  
  
Remus picked it up and sniffed it thoughtfully, "What is it?"  
  
"Tea," Severus snapped, "What did you think it was? I already waste enough of my potions ingredients on you as it is."  
  
Ignoring the harsh tone, Remus sipped the hot liquid gratefully, feeling it calm him slightly. He certainly felt less like wanting to 'forget' his wolfsbane at the next full moon and tear the dark haired man's throat out.  
  
"I don't think you can say 'you all' anymore, I'm the only one left and yes Severus I think I can fully comprehend how much you hate me. You and the rest of the world who think that you can judge everything about a person based on one fact which they're powerless to change. Funny really, because I've never judged **you** on that basis have I? Though frankly at times it would be nice to have something to throw back in your face. And you're a damned sight more responsible for the reasons people don't like you than I am for the reason they don't like me."  
  
"I didn't try to kill someone at 16!" Severus hissed.  
  
"The fact you have to add the qualifier of 'at 16' says a lot for what you did later on!"  
  
As soon as the words left his mouth Remus regretted them but it was already to late to take them back if the look on Severus' face was any indication. The man's face drew itself into an ugly sneer and he swept instantly from the room, black robes billowing out behind him, door slamming viciously.   
  
The greying man sighed and cradled the goblet in his hands, feeling chilled despite the summer weather. What he had said was terrible and he knew it but he couldn't yet bring himself to go and apologise to the potions genius, Severus' own comments about Sirius still burned too painfully for him to feel too deeply for the other man. Remus smiled bitterly as he realised that the comment had sounded very much like something Sirius would have said and like something that he would have chastised him for saying. He didn't know what exactly Severus had done as a Death Eater and he wasn't sure he wanted to. It wasn't that hearing it would have made it any more real or that he simply didn't want to hear the worst it was more the fact that whatever he had done it was in the past, along with a lot of other things that also couldn't be changed.  
  
He personally felt that Severus had displayed more courage than he would ever have believed possible; but then, he reflected, Severus was used to being outnumbered by opponents who wished him nothing but harm. It seemed that he had been for most of his life. Remus had never known anything about Severus' home life. He had often excused Sirius' actions because of his own dysfunctional and dark family, but he had long been under the impression that whoever Severus' family were he didn't much care for them. Dumbledore, on the one occasion Remus had dared to raise it with him, had acquired such an expression of sorrow and distaste that the werewolf had instantly let it drop.  
  
However, no matter how accustomed to being outnumbered Severus was, betraying the Death Eaters was a different story entirely; the man was paying dearly for his mistakes and the end price was not yet known. It pained Remus to think that the man might end up paying with his life, but then it occurred to him that maybe Severus already had. He was trapped, hiding in a dungeon, in the school where he had seemed so angry and unhappy, teaching children he seemed unable to stand. He had few friends and no one he trusted, the wizarding society at large wanted little to do with him, all they saw was a mean, bitter and sarcastic man whose friends had mostly ended up serving the Dark Lord and losing their lives in the process. What kind of a life was that?  
  
How Dumbledore had hushed up Severus' involvement with the Death Eaters as much as he had was of no small puzzle to Remus. Many people drew a connection between the Slytherin and the Dark Arts in their minds, but few remembered that he had in fact been placed on trial. Remus remembered; he'd made a point of being there, wanting to see what had become of the boy he'd known. What he'd seen had been painful to watch, Severus had sat in that chair, chains around his wrists and ankles, flanked by Dementors and yet still Remus had felt a little intimidated by the dark man. He looked far too self possessed at being surrounded by the darkest creatures in the wizarding world, until you looked in his eyes. Those dark eyes had looked utterly wretched, as though he'd seen hell and had never quite managed to escape. Remus had at the time thought it was the Dementors that had produced that look but in the following years, in the few times he had seen Severus and in the even fewer instances when he had seen his gaze unguarded, he realised that look had never left him.  
  
That look had appeared once again for the split second when what Remus had said had fully registered, and it was that look that made him really hate himself for saying it. He found he empathised with the man, his life had hardly been easy and his mistakes had been terrible but he had tried so hard to put them right. Had their positions been reversed Remus didn't know that he could honestly say that he could have acted with the courage Severus had.  
  
It was with this in mind that he quietly drank the rest of the hot, sweet tea before going in search of the man.  
  
Severus was no where to be found in the house so Remus took the step of flooing to Hogwarts, assuming he'd be in his dungeons with his precious potions. He really couldn't quite believe that Severus would want the Defence Against the Dark Arts job, his passion for potions was clear every time the subject dropped into conversation.  
  
He was so immersed in these thoughts that it came as quite a surprise to him to hear the kindly voice at his side, "Remus, what are you doing here my dear boy? Is everything alright?"  
  
The werewolf couldn't help but smile at the friendly face of Albus Dumbledore, "Hello Headmaster, I was actually looking for Severus."  
  
"Really? I thought he usually brought your potion to you each month." Dumbledore's tone was light and innocent, too innocent.   
  
_How does he always know when something's happened?_ Remus wondered. "He does, but that's not why I'm here. He and I had a bit of an argument and I wanted to bury the hatchet."  
  
"Oh well I'm sure he will too," Dumbledore beamed a little too optimistically in Remus' opinion.  
  
"Yes, most likely he'd love to bury it right in my skull!" he said resignedly, "But I suppose I have to try. You know what Severus can be like."  
  
The old man smiled sadly, "All too well, he will likely reject your peace offering as he does every other one; mostly because he cannot make peace with himself."  
  
"He seems to get on with you well enough," Remus sighed.  
  
"Years of trying to persuade Severus to trust me have paid off but not to the degree I would have wished them too. He distrusts everything and everyone, he and his paranoia are a little too well acquainted with each other for him to move on with his life. Of course it doesn't help that he will likely never forgive himself for his mistakes and that though he strives so hard for the respect of others he cannot come to respect or like himself."  
  
"He **should** forgive himself, he..." Remus trailed off, "I don't know what he did exactly but I do know some of what he's done to make up for it. He was one of the unsung heroes of the last war and yet there's nothing heroic about him at all. He fits the part of the villain so much better."  
  
Dumbledore chuckled, "Ah yes, Severus does love to paint himself as the fairytale villain doesn't he?"  
  
"Yes, but no one who's seen the way he cares for those young Slytherins could ever believe him to be heartless."  
  
"And no one who's seen him with Minerva's poor Gryffindors on a bad day could think otherwise?" Dumbledore's eyes twinkled merrily, "Poor Severus, he will be disappointed that he's failed to convince yet another person that he's rotten to the core."  
  
Remus couldn't help but laugh but stopped abruptly as the twinkle left the headmaster's eyes, "I just wish the poor boy could convince himself of that."  
  
The old man's words hit like a knife to the heart, Remus knew all too well what it was like to hate what you were but he had at least had people to help and support him. Who did Severus have?  
  
"Can't you convince him?" Remus asked hesitantly.  
  
"If I could I would have, but Severus will have to convince himself. He will have to come to terms with himself before he can with anyone else. However, you should go and make your peace offering I always hope Severus will accept a truce even when I feel that he won't. There's no point in giving in trying."  
  
"No, there isn't and I'll make him listen to me. I'm going to put a stop to this childish fighting between the two of us."  
  
Remus walked away feeling optimistic and never heard Dumbledore mutter after him, "You will never make Severus listen to anything he doesn't want to, the boy has quite the talent for ignoring anything he doesn't like or can't deal with."

XXXXXXX

It took a full ten minutes for Remus to pluck up the courage to knock on the door to Severus' private rooms. Eventually he shook himself and rapped firmly on the dark, ancient wood. There was no answer.  
  
Remus knocked again and then tried the handle, it turned easily and the door swung open to reveal a small sitting room with a fire roaring in the hearth flanked by a pair of deep green sofas. There was no sign however of the potions master and the werewolf turned to leave, not wishing to invade the other man's privacy.  
  
"What the hell do you think you're doing in here?!" Severus deep velvety tones snapped harshly from behind him.  
  
Remus turned back to see him standing in another doorway, through which he could see what looked like a bedroom.  
  
"I came to say I'm sorry Severus. For what I said before, I had no right to say that, I'm so sorry."  
  
"Get out."  
  
"Severus I'm trying to apologise!"  
  
"Yes, well you're twenty years too late!"  
  
"That's hardly fair! You weren't exactly an angel back at school!"  
  
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry I made your otherwise spoiled, pampered, worthless lives a little difficult every now and again but hell at least I caused you plenty of entertainment in the process!"  
  
Remus was shocked into momentary silence by the outburst. "Severus, I never saw you as a form of 'entertainment'!"  
  
"No? Well what was all that about then? What did I do to deserve it, other than fail to conform to the image in your head of how people should be!?"  
  
"I don't know," Remus said quietly, "I never wanted them to treat you like that."  
  
"But you never stopped them either! You were worse than they were, you'd have let them get away with murder!"  
  
"Yes, I probably would. I needed them Severus and you know how easily they could have turned on someone if they'd wanted to. They knew my secret and I didn't need it finding it's way all over the school and besides, who else would have wanted to befriend me? I was the quiet, sickly one that most people didn't give a second glance to. When Sirius first came and introduced himself and asked me to join him and James I couldn't believe how lucky I was. I'd never had friends before and I didn't want to lose them and yes I would have gone a long way to ensure I **didn't** lose them. I just didn't want to be alone, something I would have thought you'd understand as I can't imagine you enjoy being quite so solitary as you generally are."  
  
"It's certainly preferable to associating with you. Will this, 'poor me, I had a difficult childhood' story be ending soon so that I can throw you out?"  
  
"Severus please, I really am sorry both for what I said today and what we did to you back then. I mean it."  
  
"Whether you mean it or not, you're still too late."  
  
"Why? Why can't you just accept that mistakes can be put right if you just learn to move on?" _I don't think I'm talking about **my** mistakes any more.  
_  
"Saying you're sorry does not make things any different."  
  
_That settles it, we're definitely not talking about our respective high school behaviour now!_ "I always thought it was a step in the right direction. Please Severus, do you really want to spend the rest of our lives bickering over what we did as children? Haven't we both lost enough people to know that life's too bloody short to keep fighting? I'm tired of it Severus; I'm sorry for what we did to you but you're right, I can't change that. I really don't know what else I can say?"  
  
"There's nothing you can say."  
  
The werewolf sank onto one of the sofas, grateful for it's softness, wincing slightly as the leftover aches from his change pained him.  
  
"What's wrong?"  
  
Ah Severus, you always were observant! "Nothing, just a little sore from the last change."  
  
The man raised an eyebrow and looked thoughtful before disappearing into another room and returning with a potion. "Drink this."  
  
"I thought you said you'd wasted enough of your potions ingredients on me!" Remus managed a weak smile.  
  
"Just drink it before I change my mind!" Severus snapped, the smile going unreturned.  
  
Remus accepted the potion and did as he was instructed. "Thank you."  
  
"Is this a problem that troubles you frequently?" Severus asked, suddenly all business.  
  
"Yes."  
  
"You should have mentioned it before, I could incorporate the properties of that potion into your wolfsbane, the results should be much more comfortable. If not, tell me and I'll experiment with the concentration."  
  
_Was that a small display of kindness? Well I'll be damned, the man really does have a heart._ "Are you really glad Sirius is dead?"  
  
Severus answered after a moment, without a trace of his usual biting sarcasm. "I've seen too much death to want to see anymore."  
  
Remus couldn't help but agree. "Haven't we all? After all I think one death is too much really."  
  
"Yes," Severus responded shortly. "Are you finished here?"  
  
"Do you accept my apology?"  
  
"Will you leave if I do?"  
  
"Severus!" Remus sighed.  
  
"Fine, your apology is noted you may go. Please allow the door to hit you on the way out."  
  
"The apology may be noted but do you accept it?"  
  
"Yes! Fine! I accept your apology, now for the love of God get out!"  
  
Remus couldn't help but laugh at the harassed note that had crept into the potions master's tone.  
  
"What?!" Severus snapped, "What are you laughing at?!"  
  
Knowing that Severus couldn't stand to be ridiculed and that he would certainly begin to interpret it in that way, Remus stopped instantly. "I'm sorry Severus it's just that this is so ridiculous, we both act like a couple of school boys around each other. Don't you think it's about time we both moved on? We're not fifteen anymore."  
  
"I hardly think I need a lecture on maturity from you of all people," Severus sneered.  
  
"I wasn't lecturing you. Why can't we just let the past die? Why does it have to influence everything we say to each other?!"  
  
"I'm sorry but I find it a little difficult to forget that you and your friends tried to kill me, and you made it quite clear you haven't forgotten what I did!"  
  
"Maybe your problem is that you can't forget **anything**. I don't care what you did Severus, I respect you though you're a difficult person to like sometimes! And maybe that's because you don't want anyone to like you because you don't like yourself!"  
  
"Get out. Get out right now."  
  
Remus involuntarily backed up a pace as the man's voice came out as more of a quiet growl than actual speech.  
  
"Severus..."  
  
"I said get out!"  
  
The werewolf ducked as a potions jar flew from a nearby shelf, passing within an inch of his ear. It shattered against the wall and from the smell Remus vaguely registered that it was a wolfsbane potion. _Well I hope he had more of that!_  
  
The man was shaking with rage and Remus realised that his continued existence might benefit from leaving the angry man alone. "Ok Severus, clearly I crossed a line so I'm going to leave you be." Telling himself that discretion was the better part of valour, and never taking his eyes off the pair of blazing onyx ones fixed on him, Remus backed out of the room and strode quickly away.  
  
The hate he had seen burning in those darkly intense eyes he had been unable to help finding slightly intimidating. He supposed he should have just left when Severus had first asked but he had always held a slight fascination for the taller man. Severus' cool, reserved manner hid a boiling pot of passionate emotions that intrigued the werewolf.  
  
He was well aware that he had touched a nerve with the other man and that, on some strange, twisted level, pleased him. Remus found he rather enjoyed the fact that he could get such a severe reaction from the usually dignified potions master.  
  
_Still, that didn't go as planned exactly. In fact I think I may have made things a hell of a lot worse between us._  
  
Along with the perverse pleasure that came from goading the darkly enigmatic man so effectively, Remus couldn't help a feeling of remorse as the last thing he wanted to do was cause Severus pain.

* * *

Ok, so what do you think? Please let me know!  
  
I should be updating one chapter a week but I'm heading into a period of exams so if the chapters are a little late you'll know why and I apologise if that happens. I'll try to be punctual. Now please review! 


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I still own nothing but the plot.  
  
Review Responses:  
  
PippinsMyHobbit - I'm glad you liked my first chapter! The title I sadly can't take credit for as it was the idea of my wonderful friend and fellow writer, honestiago. Thanks for the review!  
  
Poppy Brook - Thanks for reading this, I'm so pleased you like it especially as I thought you didn't much like HP slash. Thank you reviewing!  
  
Maglor - I'm pleased you think they're in character, it bugs me when people make Snape too soft! Thanks for reviewing!  
  
idril.tinuviel - Thanks for saying they're in character, I'll definately keep going and thank you for the review!  
  
AffectedMangoO - Hope you dind't think the update took too long, thanks for the review!  
  
aya mikage8 - I'm very fond of Sev's dark side, I do think he's got a good one too but his dark side is so appealing! Glad you're addicted because frankly I'm addicted to reviews! Thanks for reviewing!  
  
Shades of Grey  
  
_Remus' Thoughts  
_  
**Emphasis  
**  
Chapter 2  
  
It was almost a week before Severus crossed Remus' mind again. He had been immersed in writing to Harry and it was only when the letter was finally finished and sent and Remus was waiting for a reply that he suddenly realised how lonely it was at Grimmauld Place without Sirius. Of course the Weasleys were there, being as noisy as ever, and Molly was fussing over him at every available moment in a manner which irritated him greatly. Even they seemed busy with other things though, namely attempting to reconcile with their son, despite his cold demeanour that Remus had a feeling probably sprang from his feeling a little silly for having been so wrong. The Weasley's problems though, entertaining as they occasionally were when Fred and George were involved, were not enough of a distraction to keep his mind from dwelling too long on the fact that he missed his friend terribly.  
  
It was odd but the first person his mind sprang to on the search for company was Severus Snape and once he had begun thinking about him Remus found it difficult to stop. There was something intriguing about him that held the werewolf's attention. His memory kept being drawn to the conversation in his private rooms at Hogwarts and how it had ended. Remus remembered the sheer power that he'd felt from the other man when the potions jar had flown at him. Uncontrolled wandless magic was a rare occurrence in witches and wizards above the age at which they acquired a wand and began to learn to focus their magic and it was clear that Severus had to be a lot more powerful than Remus had previously realised. It was also clear that the man did indeed feel guilt for a past he couldn't seem to let go of and that bothered Remus. He had no desire to watch Severus suffer anymore.  
  
He had just decided to go and pay the man another visit to apologise for the previous one when there was a knock at the door of his room.  
  
"Come in," Remus called.  
  
"Hiya Remus." Nymphadora Tonks, now with green and pink hair burst into the room with her usual amount of noise and energy, "Moody and I are following Dung to the Leaky Cauldron, he says he's got a business deal on and Moody wants to keep an eye on him, said to ask if you wanted to come."  
  
"Thanks Tonks, but I've got plans," Remus politely declined.  
  
"Oh? What you doing?" she asked curiously.  
  
"Nothing much. I just thought I'd go and visit Severus."  
  
"Snape? Crikey! Rather you than me! He's in a foul mood."  
  
"You've seen him?" Remus asked eagerly.  
  
"No I just know he will be, namely because he always is. You'd have much more fun with us!"  
  
"Sorry Tonks, I want to see him."  
  
"Well your loss mate. If we don't come back tonight I'll be helping Moody bury a body 'cos he's lost it with Dung!" She laughed and waved, backing out of the door, "See ya!"  
  
The door swung to afterwards and Remus breathed a sigh of relief, the girl had more energy than he could handle and her hairstyles were fast becoming less endearingly eccentric and more of an eyesore. He wondered if criticising the hairstyles of the young was a sign of encroaching middle age.  
  
_Oh well, may as well go and find someone of my own age to talk to. At least Severus won't have neon hair, even he if he does try to kill me on sight.  
_  
XXXXXXX  
  
Severus certainly did look capable of striking Remus dead when he opened the door of his office to find the werewolf stood outside, and the other man was profoundly grateful Snape's wand was resting on the desk. It was perhaps this gratitude he would later reflect that led to him pushing the issue.  
  
He grinned, "Surprised to see you answering the door without your wand in your hand, you normally always have it ready to take someone's head off."  
  
"I have no desire to become Alastor 'I'm a paranoid psychopath' Moody, however had I known it was you on the other side of the door I would undoubtedly have picked my wand up before I answered it."  
  
"It's nice that we can banter like this after all these years."  
  
Severus didn't look like he thought was nice, "What do you want, Lupin?"  
  
"I wanted to apologise. Again."  
  
Snape raised an eyebrow.  
  
"So, sorry for what I said and the previous comments," Remus continued. "We seem to find it awfully difficult to speak to each other without getting insulting."  
  
"Is it difficult to do that? I've never tried to speak to you without getting insulting so I wouldn't know."  
  
"No. You wouldn't, would you?"  
  
"Lupin, what is the new desire to apologise to me all about? You're not on a twelve step program to giving up human blood are you?"  
  
"I'm a werewolf Severus we don't drink blood and frankly that's a bit rich coming from someone who swoops around like a vampire bat!"  
  
Severus scowled.  
  
"I was joking Severus, can't you laugh?"  
  
"When something's funny. For example should you ever drop dead I shall certainly start laughing."  
  
"I thought you said you'd seen enough death."  
  
"I could make an exception just for you."  
  
"Are you going to let me in or are we going to stand in the doorway all afternoon?"  
  
"Neither. I am going to shut the door and then you are going to go away."  
  
"I'll take that as a 'please come in'." Remus ducked under the taller man's arm and sat down in the chair across from Severus' heavy carved oak desk.  
  
"What are you doing here?!" Severus snapped, seeming fairly outraged that Remus had just strolled into his office as though he thought he had every right to be there.  
  
"I told you, I came to apologise."  
  
Severus seemed to fighting to control the instinct to kill the other man. "Well you've done that, so you can leave."  
  
"Alright," Remus confessed, "I had an ulterior motive."  
  
A resigned look crossed the potions master's face as he closed the door and sat down, "What?" he sighed.  
  
Remus looked uncomfortably at the desk, "It's a bit lonely at Grimmauld Place."  
  
"There's a whole army of Weasleys there, not to mention half the Order of the Phoenix!" Severus snapped, before turning his attention to the papers on his desk, clearly in the hopes that if he ignored him Remus would go away.  
  
"The Weasleys don't really need anyone else and the Order..." Remus trailed off, not wanting to say that nothing was the same without Sirius.  
  
Severus looked up from his papers suddenly, "So what on earth brought you **here**?"  
  
"You."  
  
Severus frowned, "I don't understand."  
  
"Look Severus, we're not exactly old friends..."  
  
"'Not **exactly**', don't you mean just 'we're **not**'?"  
  
"Severus, how many people have we seen die? Friends, relatives, people we cared for. I just thought that maybe you might be as lonely as I was."  
  
Severus looked like he was torn between telling the werewolf where to go and simply killing him. "No, I'm not. Even if I were, you would not be my first choice of company."  
  
Remus refused to give up, "I can understand that. Look, would it kill you to have a drink with me?"  
  
"A drink?"  
  
"That's all I'm here for."  
  
"And then you'll leave without any further stupidity or any more ludicrous sob stories which I wouldn't care about even if they were true."  
  
"Yes, I'll leave and they are true."  
  
Severus sighed and tugged on a bell pull. A house elf instantly apparated into the room, giving Severus a look of clear intimidation. "Well what do you want?" Severus snapped.  
  
"I's not knowing sir, yous is summoning me sos I comes, I is thinking you knew what I was wanted to do."  
  
"Not you!" Severus growled at the unfortunate elf. "The other non-human creature in this room."  
  
Remus chuckled slightly at the fed up expression on the man's face, "I'll have an English breakfast tea with milk and two sugars and Severus..."  
  
"Earl Grey tea, black with lemon."  
  
The elf nodded quickly and disappeared, returning moments later with a tray which it deposited on the table, before executing a little bow and disappearing.  
  
The two men both stared at their tea for a few minutes until Remus started to speak again, "See, this isn't too bad is it?"  
  
Severus snorted.  
  
"How's your tea?" Remus asked.  
  
The other man raised an eyebrow.  
  
"Have you lost the power of speech or are you just hoping if you don't let me provoke you I'll go away?"  
  
"Lupin, drink your tea and get out of here!"  
  
"The idea of having a cup of tea with you was for there to be conversation."  
  
Severus remained silent.  
  
"Have they filled the Defence Against the Dark Arts post yet for next year?" Remus asked in another attempt at conversation.  
  
"Not that I know of. I thought Dumbledore was going to offer it to **you**."  
  
This was surprising news to Remus, "Really? I would have thought the ministry wouldn't have let him!"  
  
"They knew last time he did it, and since when has the Headmaster ever listened to the ministry?"  
  
"Good point. What makes you think he'd offer it to me again though?"  
  
"He mentioned that he might. I believe he was trying to provoke conversation, much like you're doing now."  
  
"You don't much like people doing that do you?"  
  
"How did you guess?" Severus asked sarcastically.  
  
"Just call me intuitive."  
  
"I can think of things I'd rather call you."  
  
Silence reigned once more and Remus took the opportunity to study the man in front of him. Severus Snape was slightly taller than he was, indeed he was taller than most, and he used his extra height to his full advantage when intimidating people but at the moment he looked more tired than intimidating. There were black smudges under his eyes, emphasising his pale skin. His slender figure was leaning on the desk more than usual as though glad of the extra support and Remus' heart went out to him as he began to realise how tired Severus clearly was.  
  
"Are you alright?" The question slipped out before Remus could stop himself.  
  
"Why?" Severus snapped.  
  
"You look tired."  
  
"I **am** tired, I'm very busy and a certain idiot keeps interrupting me!"  
  
Remus smiled playfully, "Just tell me who he is and I'll make sure he doesn't bother you anymore!"  
  
Severus sighed and Remus found himself wanting to reach out to him, place a hand on his arm or brush his hair back from his face as it fell down almost like a screen between Severus and the outside world. Anything, just to let Severus know that he cared and that he wasn't there simply to try to make the man's already difficult life that much harder. Reaching out physically though was probably not an option, Severus would probably accuse him of trying to spread his fleas or something.  
  
"I'm sorry if I'm disturbing you. I just wanted some company and I thought you might too," Remus spoke softly, "Maybe you should go to bed and get some sleep, you look like you need it."  
  
Surprise registered briefly in the dark eyes, as though concern for his welfare wasn't something he was used to hearing. It was quickly quelled though and his eyes became as unreadable as ever, "I'm fine thank you."  
  
The cutting edge had gone from his voice, Remus was gratified to note, though whether that was because he was learning to tolerate the werewolf's presence or because he was too tired to care was uncertain.  
  
"Is there another meeting next week?"  
  
"Yes I think so, you'll have to check with Dumbledore." Severus was quiet for a minute, "Oh and I've been working on making the alterations to the Wolfsbane in order to prevent you feeling so bad afterwards, it's not ready yet but I'll bring you it at the full moon and hopefully it will work."  
  
"Thank you," Remus was genuinely grateful for Severus' efforts, "It's very good of you to take your time over that for me."  
  
Severus looked uncomfortable and shrugged, "I had some time and it will help the Order, you're no use if you have to lie around for days trying to get over your monthly condition."  
  
"I suppose not, still it was good of you to try and help."  
  
"Forget it, Lupin." Severus snapped impatiently.  
  
"You don't like it when people start to realise you're nice underneath it all do you?" Remus teased.  
  
"If you mean I don't like people who are delusional then no, I don't."  
  
"You're not half as evil as you like to make out you are."  
  
"No, I'm worse."  
  
Remus' laugh died in his throat at the serious expression on the other man's face, "No you're not."  
  
Severus simply ignored him and went back to staring at his tea.  
  
They sat in a strangely companionable silence for a few minutes longer while Remus finished his tea. He set down the cup and stood, "I'll leave you in peace. You really should get some rest, you look exhausted."  
  
"I can't afford to rest, I have things to do."  
  
"Surely they can wait."  
  
"No they can't." The man's tone conveyed that this line of conversation should be pursued no further and Remus had a nasty suspicion that whatever it was that Severus had to do it had something to do with keeping Voldemort happy and not suspicious.  
  
"Well, thanks for this afternoon Severus."  
  
"This does not make us friends, it does not even mean I wish you slightly less harm than I did this morning. Because I don't."  
  
"Understood. We should do this again sometime."  
  
"Yes do feel free to drop round any time hell freezes over."  
  
Remus couldn't hold back a smile, "When the welcome and hospitality are so warm and the company so inviting how, could I resist?"  
  
"Try."  
  
Remus chuckled and allowed himself to be herded out of the door, "Goodbye Severus."  
  
"Goodbye." The door shut suddenly without another word leaving Remus stood in the hallway feeling amused and slightly less alone than he had.

XXXXXXX

* * *

Chapter three will be here next week. Please review, I'm addicted to them! 


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: Just own the plot.  
  
Review Responses:  
  
Crystal – Glad you were amused, thanks for reviewing!  
  
lilyqueen777 – I didn't know the Monkeys did a song called Shades of Grey. I just really liked the title, it was unfortunately not my idea but the idea of my very brilliant friend honestiago. I'm glad I made you smile and improved your day, writing all this improved mine! You liked the Narcissa stories? I'm so pleased, I think I do remember you reviewing, they were the first thing I posted so I'm especially attached to them. They may have made you cry but at least I gave her a happy ending! Thanks for reviewing!  
  
Ilmare2 – Remus/Severus is one of my favorite pairings too, though as I'm writing the story that might already be obvious I suppose. I can't stand those fics that rush people into things! Rest assured they will take a long time to develop a true friendship. Severus has some very formidable defenses in place but Remus is as you say slowly breaking through them. I'm quite flattered you reviewed actually because I'm a huge fan of some of your stories about Severus! Thanks for reviewing!  
  
Lisa – Thank you for telling me Snape isn't out of character. I too love Remus/Severus stories but sadly so many portray Severus or Remus for that matter as being out of character to the way I see him. Thanks for the review!  
  
BekaJWP – I love writing all the banter, it's so much fun and there's a lot more to come! Thanks for reviewing!  
  
Luna PL – Rowling was bad to kill Siri, though my love of him diminished slightly after reading the Snape's worst memory chapter, then again I hated them all except for Snape himself after reading that one! I have forgiven Siri to a degree though and Remus almost entirely and I do miss Sirius. However, you are right in that with him being gone it makes things more likely to happen between Remus and Severus. Certainly does in this chapter anyway! Believe me I will keep working, I never abandon fics, it's too irritating when other people do it! Thanks for the review!  
  
Kira – Thank you for the complementary review!  
  
Shades of Grey  
  
_Remus' Thoughts_  
  
**Emphasis  
**  
Chapter 3  
  
The warm feeling that seeing Severus in an almost friendly capacity had given him helped Remus through dealing with the Order and the ever- exuberant Weasley family. It had been over a week since he had last seen Severus, however he couldn't prevent himself reflecting very much on something Severus had said. Why did he suddenly have a desire to keep apologising to the man, anyone would think he actually liked him. Of course he did really, despite their fighting, despite Severus losing him the one good job he'd ever had, he had a strange liking for the other man. Still the inability to get him out of his thoughts was a little unusual, particularly combined with the strange feeling just being in the same room as the other man gave him. A strange and slightly unnerving idea suddenly occurred to him, he was exhibiting all the symptoms of developing feelings for Severus. He cared for him, tried to please him, was pained to see him unhappy, could not stop thinking about him and that strange feeling was definitely suspect. _And I do think he's very attractive_.  
  
Remus frowned slightly, realising that he certainly did care for the other man. _Well Severus wouldn't be too amused by that I don't think._ It was true, the idea of telling Severus was laughable; the man would most likely kill him, or simply laugh in his face. He found himself wondering though if it wouldn't be possible to subtly sound out how Severus felt. _Not that I'm going to, I've got enough to deal with without adding him to the mix._ Of course there was the complication that he very much wanted to add Severus to the mix of issues he already had on his plate.  
  
Harry had written back and was at least well but he had not even asked to come and stay with the Weasleys and Remus knew that his letter to Ron had been much the same, expressing no interest in leaving Privet Drive. Remus couldn't blame him, after all at least the Dursleys didn't try to talk about Sirius, at least that house didn't contain memories of him everywhere. Harry had asked how Remus was doing and had commented that he sounded falsely cheerful, saying that he didn't require Remus to put on a front to try to make him feel better. _Harry, the front's to make me feel better not you_, Remus thought ruefully.  
  
Memories of Sirius were inescapable in Grimmauld Place. Everything reminded Remus of him, not least of all the portrait who had consistently refused to shut up and was proclaiming he had got what he deserved. Kreacher had thankfully disappeared again, presumably to the Malfoys', and had not returned; Remus was half pleased he didn't have to see him and half sorry he wouldn't get to grant the elf's greatest wish by mounting his head on the wall. It was hard somehow to feel any sympathy with the creature anymore and he felt that if Hermione breathed just one word about house elf rights that summer he'd begin to understand just why Severus couldn't stand her.  
  
Remus had ventured into Sirius' room for the first time that morning; unsure of what to do with many of his things, the other Order members had simply left them as they were. His next of kin, with Andromeda having been kicked out of the family long ago, would probably be either Bellatrix Lestrange or Narcissa Malfoy and Remus doubted either of them were going to care much so he had begun to check Sirius' papers, looking for anything that would help the Order. However this had turned up very little and simply left Remus feeling more lonely and depressed than ever. He had however run across a bottle of Ogden's Best Firewhisky which Sirius had clearly been keeping for some unknown reason. Figuring that as none of his family except Tonks had even been to the house since his death and that he didn't feel it would be very responsible to let her have it, let alone Harry, Remus had liberated it. Now he poured a measure into a finely cut crystal glass. He raised the whisky in a silent toast, _well here's to you Sirius, sorry for drinking your whisky but it's in a good cause!  
_  
Remus had never been a heavy drinker and after a couple of glasses he screwed the lid back on the bottle and decided that alcohol was not the cure. Besides anything else life was too short to spend it drinking yourself into oblivion. Life was too short for a lot of things. Including regrets. It was with this in mind that Remus determined that he was going to go and find Severus. He still wasn't going to tell him how he felt but he didn't think it could hurt to try and be friends and attempt to work out how the other man felt about him, apart from the blinding, all-consuming hatred that was.  
  
XXXXXXX  
  
On reaching the school Remus headed straight for the Potions classroom and sure enough Severus was there. He was bent over a cauldron, his ebony hair tucked back hastily behind his ears and a smear of something purple on his cheek. The man seemed oblivious to it though as he carefully measured and added ingredients to the brew, noting the changes as he went along. Remus was fascinated, he had never seen Severus looking so human and alive. He had forgotten the look of simple joy that tended to cross the man's face when a potion was in front of him.  
  
_He looks incredibly attractive when he concentrates like that; he's so intense._ Severus glanced up suddenly, seeming to feel Remus' gaze. The werewolf felt his face grow warm as the potions master arched a dark eyebrow, "What are you doing? Why are you looking at me like that?" he asked with just slightly less hostility than usual but with a heavy dose of suspicion in his tone.  
  
"Like what?" Remus asked innocently.  
  
Severus frowned, "Never mind. What do you want?"  
  
_You. It's pretty simple really. Despite your toxic personality Severus I think I'm beginning to find you rather attractive.  
_  
"Well?" Severus asked impatiently.  
  
Remus was momentarily confused, having lost track of where the conversation had left off. "Well what?"  
  
"Have you got some kind of mental disorder?" the potions master sneered.  
  
Remus remained confused, "What?"  
  
"Remus, go away. You're giving me a headache."  
  
"I was looking for you."  
  
"Well now that you've found me you can go and look for something else." Severus turned back to his potion, clearly expecting Remus to leave.  
  
Remus however couldn't resist pushing his luck and walked stealthily towards the other man to stand at his elbow.  
  
Severus turned to pick up an ingredient and jumped at seeing Remus standing so close to him. "Are you still here?"  
  
Remus looked around him and grinned, "Looks like it Severus."  
  
The other man turned back to his potion, "Leave."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"I'm busy."  
  
"But you'd probably tell me to leave even if you weren't busy," Remus objected.  
  
"That's true," Severus muttered.  
  
"So I may as well stay," Remus concluded.  
  
"Is that canine logic?"  
  
Remus grinned, "Maybe. What ingredient do you need?"  
  
"Dog spleen."  
  
"Ha ha," Remus responded sarcastically to what he supposed had been Severus' idea of a joke.  
  
"I'm serious."  
  
"Oh. Here you go." Remus allowed his hand to brush Severus' as he handed over the jar.  
  
Severus paused for a moment before snapping, "Watch what you're doing."  
  
"Sorry, I was too busy watching what you were doing."  
  
"What?!" Severus held up a hand, "On second thoughts just be quiet, I don't want to know."  
  
Remus gave the man a small smirk, which apparently was too much for Severus to take. He 'accidentally' knocked a jar of dragon's blood down the front of the werewolf's robes.  
  
"Oh clumsy me, you'll have to go and change now," Severus sneered.  
  
"I could just take care of it with a spell."  
  
"Just go away before I take care of you with a spell!"  
  
"And what spell did you have in mind?"  
  
Severus decided he didn't like where this conversation was heading. "The killing curse, now get out of my potions lab or I might decide I need another dog spleen in this potion!"  
  
"Now, now, Severus, you wouldn't want to do anything you might come to regret."  
  
"You're right," Severus had adopted a dangerously quiet tone, "Why use the killing curse when I have potions that are untraceable and therefore won't land me in Azkaban?"  
  
"I'm going to start looking at that wolfsbane potion much more suspiciously in future."  
  
"Lupin, if you're not on the other side of that door in the next thirty seconds then you won't have a future."  
  
"Alright," Remus put on a mock offended expression, "I can take a hint."  
  
"No, you can't."  
  
"Might as well stay then, sounds like you expect me to."  
  
Severus made a low noise from the back of his throat and gestured with his wand, "I don't know what you've drunk but I suggest you go and calm down. Now get out of my sight!"  
  
Remus laughed and left the room without another word leaving a deeply confused and bewildered Severus Snape behind him.  
  
XXXXXXX  
  
Arriving back at Grimmauld Place Remus retreated to his room, the euphoria of the alcohol was beginning to wear off and he had the nasty feeling his behaviour towards Severus had been a little out of character and possibly rather unwelcome. He sat for a while gathering his thoughts and drinking a large cup of black coffee, he winced at the bitter taste but forced it down in order to at least be able to get his thoughts in some sort of order.  
  
_This is not the way to deal with things, I can't just throw myself at Severus because I've suddenly decided life is too short! I don't even know how he feels about me, aside from the bitter and intense hatred. Then again Sirius always used to say there was a fine line between love and hate_. Remus snorted suddenly, advice from Sirius, particularly where romance was involved, had always been best taken with a pinch of salt. Not that Remus could see him encouraging his friend to make a play for Severus Snape of all people. He chuckled wryly, _Sirius must be turning in his grave._  
  
It was getting a little easier to think about Sirius, it still hurt like hell but now instead of focusing on the vacuum inside that the loss of all three of his oldest friends had caused he was able to think about the good times they'd shared. _I suppose this is what they refer to as the healing process._ And in his own way, Severus had helped with that. He had opened up old wounds that had never really healed and, little as Remus had enjoyed hearing it, the reminder that his friends had on occasions been less than pleasant to some people seemed to have helped. It did no good to put Sirius and James on a pedestal, besides anything else that was the very last thing Sirius would have wanted; _James might have been another story_, Remus thought with a chuckle, _he was capable of being a little arrogant. Not that Sirius wasn't._ Remembering a more human side of them enabled Remus to realise what he'd really lost. Somehow knowing that they'd been less than perfect made it more painful to lose them but he knew that if he was to move on, and he had to for Harry's sake, then these things needed to be dealt with.  
  
_And I think they are being, maybe I should send Severus a Thank You card._  
  
Remus smiled at the image of the look of distaste that would undoubtedly cross Severus' face if he were to find out he'd actually helped the werewolf, particularly after the events of that afternoon.  
  
Despite his odd behaviour though, Remus decided Severus didn't seem to mind too much when he called to see him and determined that he would do so again soon. If only to ensure the man was still speaking to him.  
  
XXXXXXX

* * *

A/N: Try not to hate me but the next chapter's going to be a little late I'm afraid! I normally update on the Monday of every week but next week it'll be the Thursday at the earliest but I'll try to ensure it's no later than Friday. The version I have of the chapter on disk is missing part of it for some reason so I need to wait until I get home from university and can get to the copy on my computer hard disk. So sorry that you'll have to wait but it's only a few extra days and after that there should be no more late updates as all my exams will be over.  
  
If you wanted to show me you weren't cross at the wait you could always review! :o) 


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I still just own the plot, though god I wish I owned Sev and Remus!  
  
Review Responses:  
  
hollyberry2900 – Sev/Remus is one of the best pairings out there! Thanks for the review!  
  
AffectedMangoO – there's more dialogue in this chapter than the last I think. Thanks for reviewing!  
  
Dimitre – Thank you for your honest review, I'm quite flattered that despite being undecided on the storyline you still like my style of writing. I was particularly pleased you called the plot unique!  
  
BekaJWP – Thanks for the review, but what does LMAO mean?  
  
Arafel2 – Thank you for the smiley face!  
  
Dark Comet – Sorry it's slightly late but hopefully the wait wasn't too long. Even aside from the hatred and stuff I see many problems with Remus throwing himself at Severus. There's Sev's double and stressfully complicated life for starters, then there's Remus' emotional fragility following Sirius' death, still they're going to deal with some of their issues over the next few chapters. Thanks for the review!  
  
Ellrohan – Thanks for the compliment but what do you mean by 'what Severus did'. This is going to make me sound stupid but what did he do? As I'm not sure what you were asking about Remus may or may not find out, I guess we'll both have to wait for the answer to that. Do let me know what it was! Thanks for reviewing!  
  
Lizella – I adore this pairing, Severus is my favourite HP character and I'm a huge Remus fan too and I just think they've got great chemistry even in the books and also in the third film! Thanks for the review!  
  
just-an-oli – Thank you for the review, I'm so glad people are liking this!  
  
Daylyn – Poor Sev is very confused by the lovely Remus, glad you think he's in character. Thank you for the review!  
  
Shades of Grey  
  
A/N: OK so it's slightly late but it's still Friday so I'm technically no later than I said, it's just later in the evening than I anticipated it being!  
  
_Remus' Thoughts  
_  
**Emphasis  
**  
Chapter 4  
  
Remus had a disappointingly long wait to see Severus again; the man had been away on either a mission for Dumbledore or more likely involved with the Death Eaters and it was a fortnight before he actually turned up at the Order headquarters to speak with Arthur Weasley about some issue involving the Ministry. After Arthur had left Molly persuaded Severus to stay for a cup of tea, much to Remus' delight. Molly was kept busy in the kitchen and for one glorious moment Remus thought he would have Severus all to himself before Alastor Moody walked in and spoiled his plans. Moody took one look at Severus and glared at the man.  
  
"What brings you here, Snape?"  
  
"Well it certainly wasn't the company," Severus sneered.  
  
"I think you'll find your company's no more desirable to us than ours is to you," Moody continued.  
  
"No one's asking you to stay, you don't live here," Snape pointed out coolly.  
  
"Neither do you Snape, your business here is concluded isn't it." Moody said this not as a question but more as a statement that implied Severus' business was finished whether he liked it or not.  
  
"Alastor!" Remus said warningly, "Severus was asked to stay by myself and Molly."  
  
"I don't like traitors," Moody growled, "And I don't see why we should have to socialise with them."  
  
"Really? Due to the fact you've only said that half a million times before I had no idea!" Severus' tone was silky and dangerous.  
  
"I've got my eye on you Snape." Moody now literally had his magical eye on the taller man.  
  
"You know its amazing how well Barty Crouch imitated your personality, you'd really never know the difference between the two of you," Severus smirked, "Except it's possible he had just slightly better manners."  
  
"If I had my way you wouldn't even be here, Dumbledore's far too trusting in my opinion!"  
  
"Yes, why he let you in is a complete mystery isn't it? Had anymore encounters with intruders who turn out to be stray cats lately?" Severus' voice was quiet but his tone was growing increasingly dangerous while Remus was growing increasingly uncomfortable, wanting to stand up for Severus but not knowing how either of them would react if he did.  
  
"One day Snape everyone's going to find out exactly what you are," the way Moody spoke, as though Severus were something unpleasant he'd scraped of the bottom of his shoe, incensed Remus.  
  
"Yes they are," Remus spoke up quietly but firmly, "And then they'll stop shunning him like he has leprosy and start thanking him for being the reason they're still alive."  
  
"Never thought I'd see the day when you of all people'd be standing up for **him**. What would Sirius have said?" Moody looked reproachful.  
  
"Oh I'm sorry, am I supposed to spend the rest of my days saying what Sirius would have said had not been murdered?!" Remus' voice was raised in anger at the mention of his friend.  
  
"What on earth's going on in here?" Molly Weasley out her head around the door, "Is everything alright Remus?"  
  
"Everything's fine Molly," Remus managed a calm smile, "Just a slight disagreement between Moody and myself, nothing to worry about."  
  
"I'd say he was something to worry about," Moody growled, with a meaningful glance towards Severus.  
  
"You know there are people who'd say the same thing about me Alastor," Remus said more quietly then, noticing Severus leave, he nodded politely to Molly and went after him.  
  
He followed Severus into the sitting room with the fireplace they used to travel through the floo system; one benefit of the ministry accepting Dumbledore had been right was that they were no longer monitoring the comings and goings of Hogwarts fireplaces. "Don't let him get to you Severus!"  
  
"I didn't, and I do not require you to defend me." The man tossed some floo powder into the fire and stepped in after it.  
  
Upon reaching his office at Hogwarts Severus turned to see Remus had followed him through the floo system and was standing in his room.  
  
He sighed, "Lupin, why are you still here?"  
  
Remus Lupin gave no indication he'd heard anything Severus had said, "You should just ignore him."  
  
"I can't help but notice you're following me Lupin."  
  
"Still, Dumbledore shouldn't let him talk to you like that!" Remus carried on, oblivious to what Severus was saying.  
  
Severus frowned, "You're not listening to a word I'm saying are you?"  
  
"How can he keep holding it against you?" Apparently Remus certainly wasn't listening.  
  
Severus sighed and decided to answer the other man in hopes he would leave if he got what he wanted. "In his words, he doesn't like traitors. I don't blame him anyway, it's not his fault he's a paranoid psychopath who can't trust anyone! Hang on a moment, of course it's his fault."  
  
"Well he's working with you he needs to stop behaving quite so antagonistically."  
  
"That's a big word for you, have you been reading the dictionary?" Severus smirked, "Or did someone buy you word of the day toilet paper for Christmas."  
  
"Neither, I spent too long around you and your penchant for complicated conversation rubbed off," Remus replied teasingly.  
  
"Just so long as your fleas don't rub off on me."  
  
Remus grinned, "I've got them well trained."  
  
"Well, it sounds like the Order could start a travelling performance, you with your flea circus, Moody as a one man freak show."  
  
Remus couldn't help but laugh, "You know you're almost as bad to him as he is to you! I can see why though, he needs to learn to control himself."  
  
"What, do you think he should just forgive and forget and move on? I don't think there are many people who would agree with you there."  
  
"Sometimes I think that maybe you're the only one who hasn't forgiven you."  
  
Severus was silent for a moment before adding quietly, "I assure you Lupin I am not the only one."  
  
"Would you stop doing that? Can't you just call me Remus, must you be so petty?"  
  
"What?!" Severus seemed confused by the sudden change in conversation.  
  
Remus was suddenly hit with the fact that his comment did appear to have come out of the blue. "It just gets on my nerves. It's not just me you do it to either, you keep everyone at an emotional distance, even your colleagues are just 'Professor this', 'Headmaster that', I can't remember the last time I heard you call someone by their first name. Apart from Draco Malfoy."  
  
"That child's had enough people keeping him at a distance."  
  
Remus frowned thoughtfully, "You care about him don't you?"  
  
"I do not wish to see him follow the path everyone expects him to, that he expects himself to, but I feel as though there is little that will prevent it."  
  
"If you think there's no chance for him then why keep trying?"  
  
"Because no one else will. No one else cares. I don't think he even cares that much himself," Severus' frustration was clear in his voice.  
  
"The headmaster cares..." Remus began.  
  
"The headmaster has larger issues on his mind than the future of one young boy." Snape snorted, "Unless of course the young boy happens to answer to the name of Potter!"  
  
"Harry is important Severus whether you like him or not."  
  
"That's what it eventually comes down to isn't it, what they're worth."  
  
"Severus you know damned well that's not what I was saying! Of course Draco is worth just as much as Harry is. I agree with you though, if a child ever needed a little help he does, having Lucius Malfoy for a father can hardly be easy. I wouldn't give up on him yet though, I have a feeling his path will not be the same as his father's."  
  
Snape frowned, "What makes you say that?"  
  
"The fact that I have faith in you. That boy looks up to you Severus. I think at the end of the day his loyalties may lie, not with his father, but with you and I'd view that as being a pretty good thing." There was silence for a moment as Snape sneered at the werewolf. "You know you're very good at changing the subject Severus, you never did explain why you can't just call me Remus."  
  
"Well I think you explained that yourself, you called it keeping people at a distance and I can't think of anyone I'd rather keep at a distance than you."  
  
"Charming Severus, your sparkling personality never fails to uplift everybody's spirits and boost their ego. Maybe I should just leave you to your sulking."  
  
"I'm not sulking Lupin, I'm researching; trying to keep your ridiculous child hero alive actually. However yes, I would be gratified if you left me alone."  
  
"Still pushing people away."  
  
"I think we've covered that point."  
  
"Don't you ever get tired of being alone?"  
  
Severus didn't seem to have an answer to that  
  
"Are you ever going to let anyone in, Severus? Or are you going to go through the rest of your life alone, forever holding the world at arm's length? I'm trying to be your friend and you're fighting me every step of the way. If you simply couldn't stand me I'd get it but you do this to everyone! Why?"  
  
Severus was clearly angered by this. "Maybe because I've never met anyone who liked me for me rather than what I could do for them. And the only ones who possibly did are dead, rotting in Azkaban or long lost to me. I've had friends Lupin, you've met some of them only I think they were trying to kill you at the time."  
  
"**I** like you for who you are! Dumbledore does, McGonagall does; for goodness sake even Hagrid likes you! And what about all those Slytherin students, they like you! People like you Severus you just don't notice because you're too busy pushing them away so that you never have to feel anything, so you never have to bother with the trouble of actually being human!"  
  
"My students like me because I favour them in classes and defend them to other teachers. Hagrid's a fool who likes everyone unless they threaten Dumbledore. And as for Dumbledore, does it ever occur to you that he might not have been so interested in helping me if I hadn't had access to the information he wanted?"  
  
"Do you really think all that?" Remus asked, deeply sceptical of Severus' last comment.  
  
Severus didn't answer.  
  
Remus thought back to the concern on the elderly headmaster's face when he had spoken to him about Severus. "Dumbledore cares about you," he said quietly.  
  
"I know that," Severus said shortly.  
  
"And I notice you didn't have anything to say on the subject of Minerva and myself."  
  
"You're an idiot with very questionable taste in friends if your track record's anything to go by and Minerva..." Severus trailed off.  
  
"What, don't tell me you've actually found someone you consider a friend?!" Remus asked in mock horror.  
  
Severus snorted, "I suppose you **could** refer to her as that."  
  
"Well I'm no Minerva McGonagall but I am trying to be your friend and I'm not going to give in, no matter what you say."  
  
"So I'd gathered," Severus replied.  
  
"So will you call me Remus?"  
  
"No."  
  
"Why? I call you Severus."  
  
"I never asked you to."  
  
"Would you prefer I didn't?"  
  
"I would prefer you simply didn't speak to me."  
  
Remus shook his head, "You don't mean that."  
  
"Must you re-interpret everything I say into what you want to hear?"  
  
"I just work out what it is you really mean," Remus smiled.  
  
Severus rolled his eyes.  
  
"You see this is progress, a few weeks ago you'd have thrown me out by now."  
  
"You're right, I'm definitely losing my mind."  
  
Remus grinned.  
  
"A thought which clearly amuses you."  
  
"It's all part of my evil plan you see to drive you totally insane."  
  
"It wouldn't surprise me in the slightest if you were actually carrying out such a plan."  
  
"That's because you're paranoid." Remus sat down.  
  
"You're sitting down!" Severus said in dismay.  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Why?! Do you think you're staying?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
Severus made a noise suspiciously close to a growl, "Lupin, it has been made quite clear many times that neither one of actually enjoys the other's company so why don't you just go back to Grimmauld Place."  
  
"I enjoy **your** company."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Because you're courageous, witty, intelligent and more caring than you really want the world to see." Severus looked sickened by the idea, causing Remus to laugh softly. "I'm sorry if you take the idea of being nice as an insult."  
  
Severus raised an eyebrow, "I take most things that come from you as an insult."  
  
"Shall we have some tea?"  
  
"We just had some at Grimmauld Place," Severus pointed out.  
  
"You didn't drink yours."  
  
"The company didn't encourage me to stick around."  
  
"That's a pity, you should join us at Grimmauld Place more often."  
  
"Yes, who wouldn't want to spend their time there?" Severus responded with his usual sarcasm. "But as it happens I'll be back in a couple of days. There are some interesting books there that may be of some help in our efforts."  
  
"Oh well, when are you coming?"  
  
"The day after tomorrow in the evening I think, but my plans tend to be subject to last minute changes. I hope to stay and have a look at the books when I bring you your Wolfsbane potion."  
  
"I missed you while you were away," Remus decided to risk saying it, after all Severus did seem to have calmed down considerably.  
  
The potions master smiled grimly, "Well the company I was keeping was almost enough to make me miss having you annoying me."  
  
Remus was shocked, "Really?!"  
  
"I said **'almost'**."  
  
"We should have a drink when you come round then."  
  
"You'll be drinking yours out of a dog bowl Lupin, it's your time of the month remember?"  
  
"Trust me, it's hard to forget."  
  
"Those of us who want you to take your wolfsbane would consider **that** a good thing."  
  
Remus ignored him, "Anyway, if you come in the early evening I should have a couple of hours, the summer nights are pretty short."  
  
"Something I'm sure you're grateful for."  
  
Remus looked at the man in surprise, for a moment he could have sworn he'd heard sympathy in Severus' voice. "I am grateful for that, yes."  
  
"I suppose you're still waiting for that tea?"  
  
"Thought you'd never ask."  
  
"I didn't, you insisted."  
  
Remus smiled as the man conjured a teapot and mugs instead of calling for a house elf. "Showing off your conjuring skills?"  
  
"If I have to deal with a house elf right now I might kill it. I haven't the patience for their own particular brand of stupidity, not on top of yours anyway. I asked one for tea this morning and it came back with a pot plant."  
  
Remus laughed, "Why?"  
  
"If I knew that I'd tell you."  
  
Remus poured the tea and offered Severus a cup.  
  
"Thank you."  
  
"No problem. It's better drinking tea here anyway, at least you know the Weasley twins haven't put anything in it."  
  
Severus raised an eyebrow, "What makes you think **I **haven't?"  
  
Remus sipped his tea thoughtfully before replying, "Blind faith. So shall I take it you were on Order business for the last two weeks?"  
  
Severus looked slightly uncomfortable, "Not exactly."  
  
"What do you mean 'not exactly'?"  
  
"Well I wasn't on holiday in the Bahamas! If I wasn't doing something for the Order what do you think I was doing Lupin?!"  
  
Remus gave an apologetic smile, "Sorry. That can't have been fun." It was only after he'd said it that the comment struck him as stupid, he had a feeling that spending two weeks with the Death Eaters and Voldemort would be about as far from fun as you could get.  
  
"Funnily enough it wasn't fun, no," Severus replied coldly.  
  
"Sorry, stupid thing to say."  
  
"I'm used to that from you. Now hurry up and finish that tea, I've got work to do and I would like some peace."  
  
"Whatever you say Severus," Remus drained his teacup. "Thank you for your hospitality and I'll see you in a couple of days."  
  
"Goodbye Lupin," Severus said dismissively.  
  
Remus flooed back to Grimmauld Place to find Moody was now engaged in an argument with Mundungus Fletcher over his various law breaking schemes. The werewolf smiled and left them to it, pleased to see it wasn't just Severus Moody treated with distrust.  
  
XXXXXXX

* * *

Next update will quicker than this one was, not sure what day, perhaps Monday or Tuesday. Next chapter, it's the full moon and it'll be an interesting one! If you enjoyed this, or if you hated it and wish to tell me so, drop me a review!  
  
Oh and does anyone else think David Thewlis was brilliant as Remus? I loved him, he's not how I pictured Remus but I do think he was fantastic! Third's definitely the best film so far! (Well if you can overlook the fact Oliver Wood wasn't in it!) 


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: I wish they were mine but all I own here is the plot.  
  
Review Responses:  
  
Lady of Paranoia – Thank you for the complimentary review, very nice ego boost! I love writing the banter! As for not rushing things I despair of stories that just sling them together in the first chapter I much prefer things to be drawn out.  
  
Ellrohan – Johnny Depp would have made an interesting Sirius actually and he's good at eccentric roles. I thought Sirius was good but I personally didn't much like him, I think it was just the side of Sirius he showed or something, I'm not sure. Thank you for clarifying your question, sometimes I miss the obvious! Remus has a vague idea of the things Sev has likely done and this chapter sees some further discussion of the topic. Thank for the review!  
  
Dokuhebi – lol! It will go to 5 now! Glad you're in love with the story and I hope the wait didn't drive you insane! Thank you for the review!  
  
Bonezz – I know you reviewed chapter one but I'll just say thank you here in hopes you find it! Glad to see some of my wedding bells fans are still reading my work! Thanks!  
  
BekaJWP – Thanks for the translation of LMAO I'm a bit behind on internet abbreviations! You didn't like the moustache? I thought it suited him, he had this whole, 1940s gentleman thing going which I found irresistible and the moustache was all part of that to me! Totally in love with that man! This chapter's a mixture of the serious with some comic relief. Thanks for the review!  
  
Moldanubikum – Thanks for the review, you don't have to agree that the third film is good I have many criticisms of it myself.  
  
Marilyn, My Bitterness – I adored David Thewlis too! I do indeed fear the wrath of a struggling drag queen so here's the next update. lol. Thanks for the review!  
  
honestiago – Ah my old friend! I know we've seen the third film again since you left the review but what do you say to a third viewing asap? Yeah Sev really was well within his rights to start throwing jars of cockroaches everywhere after the 'that can't have been fun' comment. One of poor Remus' less intelligent moments, but who could think clearly and sensibly when in the presence of Severus? This is the chapter you've been waiting for, partial nudity! Thanks for the review and for all your help in general with the fic!  
  
Gemini Fallen Angel – The third film did have a lot of faults but it still is the best. They so should have explained the map! Ah yes, Severus is subtly softening, you can tell by the fact he hasn't tried to kill Remus yet! Very restrained for Severus! lol! Glad you like it, thanks for the review!  
  
Shades of Grey  
  
_Remus' Thoughts  
_  
_**Severus' Thoughts**_  
  
**Emphasis**  
  
Chapter 5  
  
As evening approached on the day of the full moon Remus was agitated and overly energised as he always was on these occasions, but this time it was worse than usual. He was on edge and excited and he had a feeling that it was partly being caused by Severus' imminent arrival that night.  
  
Severus arrived in the early evening and headed immediately for a small study on the upper floor, leaving Molly with instructions to send Lupin along for his Wolfsbane when she saw him.  
  
Remus tapped on the door before going in to see his friend sat at a desk reading a large book which wasn't written in English, though Remus couldn't see enough of it to see what the language was.  
  
"Hello Severus."  
  
The man glanced up at him, "Hello. Your Wolfbane's on the table. I've made some adjustments so tomorrow you should feel much better than usual."  
  
"Thank you. Can I get you a drink? I uncovered a rather nice looking Brandy in the drinks cabinet downstairs."  
  
"A brandy would nice, thank you."  
  
"You're being very civil tonight." Remus commented.  
  
"I don't have to be you know," Severus' voice acquired a warning tone that stopped Remus from pursuing that line of conversation.  
  
Pouring them each a glass, Remus sat down. "How's it going," he pointed at the book, "Find anything useful?"  
  
"Maybe. It's not really that simple though."  
  
"What are you looking for?"  
  
"Anything that could help."  
  
"You'll find something."  
  
Severus frowned, "I hope so. Things aren't exactly going our way at the moment."  
  
Remus was momentarily puzzled, "There's been nothing in the Daily Prophet."  
  
"There will be in a couple of days, the ministry have been trying to hush up the attacks but they can't withhold the information forever."  
  
"How do you know...?" Remus trailed off, "You were there."  
  
"Yes." Severus answered bluntly.  
  
"I wasn't trying to sound accusatory, Severus."  
  
"You didn't need to try."  
  
"Severus," Remus placed a hand on Severus' shoulder, feeling the man's muscles tense at the sudden contact, "What do I have to accuse you of? Risking your life to help people you're not even on particularly good terms with?"  
  
"I'm trying to help more people than this silly Order!" Severus snapped.  
  
"I know, but let's face it you're not exactly on good terms with the world at large are you?" Remus chuckled.  
  
Severus shrugged him off uncomfortably. "You have plenty to accuse me of, you don't know...!" he sighed frustratedly.  
  
"Then tell me," Remus perched on the edge of the desk Severus was sitting at.  
  
"Tell you what?"  
  
"Whatever it is I don't know."  
  
Severus got to his feet and crossed the room, "That I stand by while they hurt people, kill them, torture them, do you want to hear any of this?!" he sneered.  
  
"If it helps."  
  
"Why do you have to be so damned nice?!" the potions master snarled, irked by the werewolf's calm acceptance of everything.  
  
The greying man shrugged, "You bring out a good side of me."  
  
Severus whirled round looking fit to kill the other man but seemed to lose momentum suddenly and simply collapsed into a nearby chair, "If this is your good side I'd hate to see your bad one."  
  
As Severus spoke the door slammed shut suddenly causing them both to leap to their feet.  
  
"Must have been the wind," Remus commented.  
  
"The window's closed," Severus tried to open the door but it wouldn't move. "Alohomora!" The unlocking spell had no effect.  
  
Remus groaned, "No! They wouldn't!"  
  
"Who wouldn't what?" Severus asked suspiciously.  
  
"Fred and George Weasley have been working on a time controlled locking spell that can't be broken by anyone but the castor and it looks like we've become victims of their latest test."  
  
Severus turned white with anger, "Those idiots!" He proceeded to try every unlocking spell Remus had ever heard of, and a fair few that he hadn't, while the werewolf stared nervously out of the window at the dwindling twilight. After fifteen minutes had passed without Severus' spells having any effect Remus spoke up suddenly.  
  
"Severus? You know what you said about hating to see my bad side, well I think you're about to."  
  
Severus looked bemused, "What?"  
  
"I don't think we're going to get that door open."  
  
Severus scowled, "You and me trapped overnight in a small room, this has got to be a dream!"  
  
Despite the situation, Remus raised an amused eyebrow.  
  
"Actually I'd rather think that this didn't come from my subconscious." Severus quickly amended his previous statement.  
  
Remus' amusement faded with the last of the light. _Once he sees me like that he's never going to see me as anything else. He'll always think of me as a monster, oh well not like I had much of a chance to start with!_  
  
He turned to the other man, who had sat sulkily at the desk again and was clearly trying to think of another way out. "Look Severus, we're stuck in here and I'm about to change so unless you want a sight you won't forget in a hurry you might want to turn around!" Remus said, shrugging his robe from his shoulders and loosening his tie. _Oh God, these were not the circumstances in which I saw myself getting undressed in a room with Severus._ Remus shook his head at the passing thought as the pain in his body grew steadily.  
  
Realising that Remus was entirely serious, Severus turned quickly away, sitting down at the small desk and picking up a book. A small cry of pain came from behind him and it was all Severus could do to quash his instinct that was telling him to turn and check the **creature** was alright. Logically, he knew he should have expected it, the transformation was extremely painful and it was with a modicum of respect that he noted his surprise at Lupin having been as quiet as he had.  
  
The cry did not last long and Severus kept his eyes fixed firmly on the desk in front of him, reading and re-reading the same sentence of his book. It was a further ten minutes before his curiosity was peaked by the silence behind him and he turned, pushing down the rising panic at the idea that he was locked in a small room with the werewolf that had once tried to kill him.  
  
He turned, not really knowing what to expect. Lupin was, well no longer Lupin for one thing. There was a large grey wolf curled up on the rug, looking straight at him with deep amber eyes. The creature got to its feet and began to walk towards him, causing Severus to back up instinctively against the desk.  
  
"Lupin?"  
  
The wolf cocked its head to one side as if to ask, 'well who else were you expecting?'  
  
"Just stay over there!"  
  
The animal growled lightly.  
  
"Lupin, you did drink that potion?"  
  
The creature barked then backed off, mouth open in what looked suspiciously to be the closest approximation to a laugh Lupin could manage in that form. Severus scowled and sat back in the chair, never taking his eyes off the creature before him which was now sat down watching him intently.  
  
"Can you look at something else?"  
  
The animal continued to stare. Sighing, Severus turned away and went back to reading his book, checking over his shoulder every few minutes to ensure that Lupin wasn't getting ready to rip him into small, bloody pieces. After half an hour or so of this however Severus found himself leaving longer and longer gaps between these glances, either he had decided he had faith in his own potions making abilities or he had faith in Lupin, though to a degree both were the same. Even accepting that his potion had worked it did not render Lupin incapable of killing him, it just stopped him from being unable to make the decision. Much as it pained Severus to admit it though, this was not the inhuman beast he had encountered in his fifth year; this was something different. And, he thought as he turned around to see it still staring at him, it definitely had Lupin's personality and irritating sense of humour.  
  
"What do you want? To play fetch or something?"  
  
The animal wagged its tail.  
  
"That better not have been a yes."  
  
The wolf lay down, an amused expression in its amber eyes.  
  
_**Oh great, I'm looking for emotion in the eyes of an animal.**_  
  
"Why don't you go to sleep or something? Just stop staring at me!"  
  
The animal obligingly closed its eyes and rested it's head neatly on it's paws, allowing Severus to return to his book.  
  
XXXXXXX  
  
A few hours later the potions master awoke, muscles stiff from having fallen asleep in the wooden chair. He stretched out his hands then recoiled quickly as one came into contact with something soft and warm that was residing on his lap. The werewolf had it seemed fallen asleep resting his head on Severus' knee. After a moment to pluck up the courage, Severus reached out a hand and tentatively pushed at the head in an effort to remove the creature from his person. The only response he received was that the animal blinked open it's eyes in a manner that suggested it had been awake all along and, before he could do anything about it, licked his hand.  
  
"Lupin!" Severus growled, snatching his hand away. "Remove your head from my lap this instant or I will remove it from your shoulders."  
  
The wolf gave a little growl, reminding Severus that the likelihood of him being able to do that before Lupin tore his throat out was minimal at best. Still the beast did lift its head up and walk away from him so he decided to count it as a victory.  
  
Despite his anger at the werewolf's behaviour Severus was too tired to stay awake for long. When he next awoke his head was resting on his arms on the hard desk and a faint light was showing through the window. He sat up slowly and turned around to see Lupin stood behind him in the process of pulling on a pair of trousers and wearing little more than his underwear. He quickly looked away and was horrified to find a burning sensation on his cheeks that indicated he might be blushing.  
  
Remus caught sight of the look out of the corner of his eye and could not quell the triumphant feeling it gave him. _Maybe I didn't blow my chances with him?_ Picking up his shirt he spoke in hopes of attracting Severus' attention again. "Good Morning."  
  
"Is it?" Severus responded, turning round only to turn back again when he saw that Remus was still shirtless.  
  
"Well it's still only six o'clock but it's looks like it's going to be a nice day."  
  
"Right," Severus cleared his throat awkwardly, "Well hopefully we'll get out of here soon."  
  
"Yes." Remus gave a mischievous smile, "You can look now, I'm decent."  
  
"I wouldn't have thought that was possible for you," Severus responded, turning to glare at his companion of the previous night.  
  
His companion arched an eyebrow, "So was last night good for you?"  
  
Severus sent him a death glare that effectively silenced the werewolf for a while. A silence he spent dwelling on that split second when he could have sworn he'd seen Severus blush at catching him in a state of undress. That blush rendered the death glare slightly less effective. It was quite unfair though, Remus realised on further reflection, after all why should Severus get to see him in his underwear when the favour had not been returned?  
  
A small sound disturbed Remus' thoughts and he looked up to see Severus grab the door handle in a desperate fashion and push at the door, which swung open easily. The dark man stared at it in relief and annoyance. "It's open."  
  
"So I see," Remus responded, slightly disappointed that their evening together was over. "I suppose we should leave."  
  
"Suppose?" Severus hesitated before saying sarcastically, "What else did you have in mind?"  
  
"Several things suggest themselves."  
  
The thoughtful look on the werewolf's face provided Severus with enough reason not to question further and he swept hurriedly out of the door with Remus in pursuit.  
  
"The modifications you made to the Wolfsbane seem to have worked. I feel pretty good this morning."  
  
"I'm glad one of us does," Severus muttered.  
  
"Severus I'm sorry, but what happened wasn't my fault!"  
  
"No. It wasn't. It was those bloody Weasley twins' fault and now we are going to go and end their miserable little existences!"  
  
Remus frowned, "Molly won't like that."  
  
"Do I look like I care?"  
  
"No," Remus answered honestly.  
  
"Good."  
  
"So what's the plan?" Remus asked, deciding to humour the other man.  
  
"Next full moon you eat them, nice ironic punishment I think."  
  
"I'm not eating Molly's children. And won't I get put in Azkaban?"  
  
"Ah, now you've touched upon the pure genius of the plan. They end up dead, you end up incarcerated and I can sleep peacefully at nights." Severus seemed as though he had more than he could take.  
  
"Much as I wouldn't want to think I was keeping you up at night, I don't really fancy an all expenses paid trip to Azkaban prison!"  
  
"No? Shame, it might be good for you." Severus continued to storm through the corridors of Grimmauld Place for a minute or so until he whirled around suddenly, "I don't even know where I'm going!"  
  
_To bed? Maybe I shouldn't say that out loud._  
  
"I'm going back to Hogwarts and back to bed."  
  
Remus looked up in shock, _You read my mind, though I'm guessing I'm not invited?  
_  
Severus began to walk away then halted in his steps and turned back, "You're silent for once, makes a nice change."  
  
Remus gave him a small surprised smile, "Well I aim to please."  
  
"How strange then that you so rarely succeed." Severus walked away without another word leaving Remus to go and seek out Molly and tell her that her children may die earlier than expected if Severus were not pacified and dwell on the fact that obviously he occasionally **did** succeed.  
  
XXXXXXX  
  
Right after lunch Severus returned looking murderous. The tension of the previous night had given Remus an intense desire to touch Severus and he held out his hand instantly, "Nice to see you again Severus."  
  
Severus, tired and angry, instinctively placed his hand in Remus' to shake it, much to the other man's delight.  
  
The feel of Severus' skin against his own sent a small jolt of electricity through Remus's stomach and from the brief look of panic he saw in Severus' dark eyes the other man had felt it too.  
  
Severus withdrew his hand quickly with an exasperated look. "Are Fred and George Weasley here?"  
  
"By telling you that am I aiding and abetting a murder?"  
  
"Yes, but by not telling me you will cause me to make you my victim instead."  
  
"They're here, but really Severus I think they're sorry."  
  
"I highly doubt that."  
  
"Oh come on it's no different to what we would have done at school!"  
  
"There was no **we** at school!"  
  
He raised an eyebrow. "There's a we now?"  
  
"No there most certainly is not!"  
  
Remus simply raised the other eyebrow.  
  
Severus began to look uncomfortable with the way the conversation was heading and cleared his throat awkwardly.  
  
"That's the second time I've made you do that today," Remus smirked.  
  
Severus was saved from having to respond by the twins walking in to the room. They looked in horror at the potions master, then at each other, before trying to leave very quickly. Severus however waved his hand and the door slammed in front of them. "Going somewhere?" he asked in the silky, dangerous tone Remus rather liked.  
  
The twins seemed lost for words for a change.  
  
"Well?!" Severus demanded.  
  
"If you're angry about last night..." George started.  
  
"Perish the thought, why would I be angry at being locked in a small room overnight with a werewolf at the full moon?"  
  
"You see? No hard feelings then." Fred put in hopefully.  
  
The two both paled as Severus advanced on them, wand clasped so tightly his knuckles were white.  
  
"Severus," Remus stepped forward and held an arm out between Severus and the twins, "You do realise you can't kill them in front of a witness."  
  
"Hey!" Fred objected.  
  
"How about telling him he can't kill us at all!?" George demanded.  
  
"I could always kill the witness as well!" Severus snapped.  
  
"Ok, why don't we all just calm down?" Remus suggested.  
  
"Calm down? Who's not calm?" Severus asked.  
  
"You, Severus, and them as they're frightened for their lives."  
  
"Do you have a suggestion as to how to deal with them?!"  
  
"Well it's hardly our place, maybe you should let Arthur deal with them."  
  
Severus got a wicked glint in his dark eyes, "I've got a better idea." He stepped out into the corridor, "Mrs Weasley!"  
  
"No!" George had a horrified look in his eyes.  
  
"You can't!" Fred had the same look about him.  
  
"Kill us if you want, but don't get Mum..." George spoke again.  
  
"Now what's going on here?" Molly Weasley appeared from the kitchen, "Are these two causing problems?"  
  
Severus gave a dangerous smile, "I was wondering if I might have a quick word with you."  
  
"Of course Professor. Can you come into the kitchen though; I'm trying to do some baking. Oh, while I'm here, what's your favourite flavour cake Remus?"  
  
"Chocolate."  
  
"Well I'll bake you one."  
  
Remus smiled, "Thank you Molly, that would be terribly kind of you."  
  
Severus glared and followed the woman into the kitchen leaving the Weasley twins with horrified expressions.  
  
"She'll kill us!" Fred managed in a whisper.  
  
Molly Weasley was certainly not particularly inclined towards leniency after Severus had finished telling her what her children had done and Fred and George were soon wishing they'd never heard of locking spells. Severus slipped away, having set Molly on her sons, and Remus was about to creep away when Molly sent the twins to their rooms and turned to him. "I'm so sorry Remus! That was the last thing you needed. Professor Snape certainly didn't seem too happy either! Then again, for all he went on about being stuck overnight with you, you're the one I feel sorry for! I'm sure he wasn't the most desirable company!"  
  
Remus' voice went cold, "Molly, have you ever seen a werewolf who hasn't taken a Wolfsbane potion?"  
  
Molly shook her head.  
  
"Well he has, I nearly killed him once. Quite frankly I think he's the one who deserves your sympathy over last night, not that he'd thank you for offering it. Besides I happen to find Severus very desirable company so perhaps you shouldn't say things like that when you don't really know the man at all!"  
  
Molly look quite put out, "I didn't mean anything by it, he's just not the friendliest of people sometimes!"  
  
"Neither would you be if...!" Remus trailed off, "I don't want to hear it Molly. I'm sorry I snapped but I like Severus and I don't like hearing people say things like that about him, whether they mean it or not!"  
  
"I'm sorry Remus," the woman smiled suddenly, "I'll go and finish that chocolate cake. It's good of you to care about him, I think he probably needs somebody to. Lord knows the rest of us aren't very good at it."  
  
"Oh Molly! I haven't yet met the person you couldn't take care of, Severus just would never let you, or anyone else."  
  
"That poor man, we really should be nicer to him."  
  
Remus sighed, "Yes you should, but who am I to talk? My friends and I spent years tormenting him."  
  
Molly patted his hand in a motherly fashion, "Come on, you can help me with the chocolate cake, I'll even let you lick the spoon if you like."  
  
Remus laughed, "Why not? I think I could use some chocolate." Despite his occasional anger at the woman he knew she had a good heart and that she always meant well, despite sometimes getting it wrong. _After all who doesn't get it wrong sometimes?  
_  
XXXXXXX  
  
A/N: I realise that my description of Lupin doesn't fit with how he looked as a werewolf in the film but it's just how I always saw him being. In book three they say that there are 'several small differences' between the werewolf and a regular wolf so I figured from that that they'd look pretty similar. Anyway just explaining as I know other people don't necessarily see him in wolf form in the same way I do.  
  
Chapter six will be here next week and Remus is putting his foot in it again! 


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: Just own the plot.  
  
Review Responses:  
  
Marilyn, My Bitterness – You feel sorry for the twins? They are minions of the devil! Well Sev probably thinks so anyway! Hope the update was quick enough to prevent the stalking! Thanks for the review!  
  
BekaJWP – I didn't mind the film werewolf but it's really not how I saw it being. Thanks for reviewing!  
  
Arafel2 – Thanks for the review!  
  
Kira – I'm going off Molly after the fifth book, I loved her before that but I just thought the way she spoke to Sirius was way out of line! Also I think she worries about Harry sometimes at the neglect of some of her own children. Still I tried to make her nice in this story so I'm glad people like her, I do think she has a good nature and means well she just gets things wrong sometimes. Thanks for the review!  
  
Junsui46319 – Remus is very persistent, he's going to have to be! Personally I think Ralph Fiennes is too conventionally attractive for Remus but I hear that a lot of people wanted him to play him. Thanks for the reviews!  
  
Nightengale – I adore Remus! Severus too and I hate it when people alter his personality too drastically. Thanks for the review!  
  
Dokuhebi – It will now go to chapter six! You haven't seen the third film? Oh you poor thing! Still, this way the anticipation will make it all the more exciting when you do see it! In the meantime here's chapter six! Thanks for reviewing!  
  
Lady of Paranoia – I liked the moustache but so many seem not too! Ah well. I'm glad people are enjoying this so much! I was very pleasantly surprised by the amount of reviews for the last chapter! Thanks for adding me on to your favourites list and for reviewing!  
  
Ilmare2 – I doubt Severus found the image of a werewolf's head on his knee very touching! lol! Poor man, but it does show how far they've come that it hasn't damaged their somewhat fragile friendship. Are we going to see an update for Sorrows of a Slytherin soon? Pretty please! Sorry to bug you but I adore that story! Thanks for the review!  
  
aliciablack52 – I used to like Sev and Sirius actually, it was because of that scene at the end of GoF when they had to shake hands, but after the fifth book I went off the idea of those two. I too thought the werewolf would look like a large wolf but he does indeed stand on two feet in the film, but he runs on all fours I seem to remember. Thanks for the review!  
  
Ellrohan – Is Sirius supposed to be taller than Severus? I didn't pick up on that, I wish Sev would be the tallest! It was a good film, just because we criticise it doesn't mean we don't love it eh! Thanks for the review!  
  
Bonezz – mixed emotions are always fun to use in plots! Thanks for reviewing!  
  
KittyKat589 – Thanks for the review, here's the update!  
  
Vampire-Puppet – I've updated! Thanks for reviewing!  
  
chimerical – Unfortunately I don't think we're going to see a Snape POV other than what you saw very briefly in the last chapter! The fic just took off from Remus' POV for some reason. You may be slightly disappointed on the RL/SS action front but I'll say no more about that for the moment. Thanks for the review!  
  
A/N: 18 reviews since I posted the last chapter! Wow! Thanks! I'm very appreciative! Sorry if the update took a little long!  
  
Shades of Grey  
  
_Remus' Thoughts_  
  
**Emphasis**  
  
Chapter 6  
  
Remus waited a couple of days before seeking Severus out again, thinking that the man could probably use some time to recover from the ordeal at the full moon. He flooed to Hogwarts and found his way to the man's private rooms, after receiving no answer at his office and a nasty jolt of magic when he had tried to unlock the door. This door however opened easily, Severus had clearly forgotten to lock it and as Remus knocked it swung open at his touch.  
  
He quickly ascertained that Severus was not in the small kitchen/laboratory where dragon's liver resided next to the tea bags, or in the bathroom next door to the bedroom. Remus hesitated at the bedroom door. Ever since he had first glimpsed this room he had been wanting to enter it. At first it had been nothing more than curiosity as to what kind of a bedroom Severus Snape would have but now he had to admit there were certainly other considerations. He had knocked but received no answer. Shaking himself he resolutely pushed open the door, after all if Severus had been in there he would surely have responded to his knocking, Remus was just checking.  
  
The door swung open, revealing that the room was by no means empty. Severus was asleep in a large four-poster bed, the deep green quilt pulled up to his chin, looking surprisingly peaceful. Remus smiled suddenly, it wasn't often he got to see Severus without a nasty look on his face and he couldn't ever remember seeing him looking so peaceful, so he took a moment to savour the experience before turning to leave.  
  
Unfortunately the room was only dimly lit by the light from the main room and, in his haste to leave before Severus awoke, Remus walked straight into the door which had swung partially closed behind him. The noise of his elbow hitting it might not alone have been enough to wake Severus but the yelp of startled pain certainly did the trick.  
  
Remus whirled to face the bed in time to see Severus' dark eyes snap open and him sit bolt upright, the quilt sliding down to his waist to reveal that Severus didn't seem to sleep in very much, at least not on his top half anyway.  
  
"You!" Severus didn't seem too pleased to have woken to find Remus in his room, "What are you doing here?!"  
  
Remus opened his mouth to answer but no words were forthcoming. Severus cast his eyes about the room searching for his wand. Remus noticed gratefully that it was on the far side from the bed, resting on a chest of drawers made from a dark wood.  
  
"I was looking for you, I was bored and thought you might want some company or something," the flustered werewolf found his voice.  
  
"I was asleep! That does not require your company, now get out of here!"  
  
Remus paused momentarily and reflected on how much he wished that were not true.  
  
"I'm surprised you haven't gone for your wand by now," Remus smirked, "Come on fair's fair, you got to see me in my underwear!"  
  
Severus glared at the werewolf and suddenly it hit Remus, "Ok, you're not wearing anything under that quilt are you?"  
  
"Get out!" Severus growled.  
  
Remus nodded and intended to leave but found his feet uncooperative and realised he was leaning heavily against a cabinet. It seemed the idea of Severus' state of undress was having quite the effect on him.  
  
"Are you just going to stand there?!" a faintly horrified note had crept into Severus' voice.  
  
Remus forced himself to move and muttered, "Sorry Severus," before stumbling out of the bedroom door and out of Severus' rooms altogether.  
  
Once outside he leaned heavily against the wall beside the doorframe. _Oh my god! He's going to kill me once he's dressed. _A wicked smile crept onto the werewolf's face, _Oh but it was worth it!_ His mind was fixed on the image of Severus scantily clad in a sheet, his hair slightly tousled from sleep, his eyes angry and alive but overall looking oddly vulnerable and exposed. Literally exposed Remus had been very happy to note, Severus' slender, slightly muscled form had certainly been shown off to great effect.  
  
He was jolted back to reality by the door opening to reveal Severus clad in a long black dressing gown, wand in his hand and a scowl settled on his features.  
  
Somehow just the sight of the man made Remus fell unaccountably flustered. "Severus! Hi!"  
  
The potions master glared at him.  
  
"Please tell me you didn't come out here to kill me."  
  
"Well that was the idea." Remus couldn't tell from the tone of voice exactly how serious Severus was but it was clear that he was not happy.  
  
"Severus, I'm sorry! I shouldn't have gone in there like that."  
  
"Well there's one thing we can agree on."  
  
"How was I to know you'd be in bed in the middle of the day?!" Remus asked defensively.  
  
"I'm sorry, I was tired, I spent all of last night awake and for the most part wishing I wasn't so I didn't think anyone would mind too much if I caught up on some sleep!" Severus snapped.  
  
Remus fell quiet, "You were with **them **weren't you?"  
  
"Yes, I was."  
  
"Severus, I really am sorry. I didn't mean to...well I opened the door and walked in so obviously I meant to do that but I mean... I don't know what I mean...I..." Remus trailed off, damning his own incoherence in the face of Severus looking so tiredly attractive in just a dressing gown.  
  
"Lupin shut up!" Severus snapped wearily. "Just forget about it."  
  
"You're not going to kill me?"  
  
"I've got better things to do."  
  
"Right, well I really am sorry, you have no idea how sorry! Oh not that I didn't like what I saw, not that I did, well not that I didn't, not that I was looking..." Remus' horror at his own words was growing steadily by the moment and he was almost relieved to see Severus raise his wand and point it at him. _At least if he kills me I can't sound any more stupid!_  
  
"If you don't shut up, I will make you shut up!" Severus spoke in a soft but definitely dangerous tone of voice.  
  
"By killing me?"  
  
"I had a silencing charm in mind but that's actually a good idea."  
  
"I do have them every now and again. Just clearly not today," Remus added weakly.  
  
"Clearly not," Severus agreed.  
  
"So you wouldn't be interested in a game of chess...that's what I came round to ask you see...of course you don't want to play chess, you want to go back to sleep...I should go shouldn't I?"  
  
"No, I don't want to play chess. Yes, I do want to go back to sleep. Yes, you should leave." Severus sounded like he was trying to explain things to a rather stupid child.  
  
"I'm sorry."  
  
Severus shook his head in quiet despair, "Forget about it! Just leave me to get some sleep."  
  
"Right, will do. Goodnight, well good afternoon. Have a good sleep anyway!"  
  
"**Goodbye **Lupin!"  
  
Remus gave a nervous smile and set off up the corridor, striding away quickly before Severus could change his mind and kill him anyway.  
  
XXXXXXX  
  
Arriving back at Grimmauld Place Remus' thought patterns were an incoherent mess. The intensity of the feelings Severus was able to cause in him was getting more than a little intimidating and clearly trying to make some sort of rational sense was not possible when all he could see was Severus sitting half naked in bed.  
  
He wandered into the kitchen for a calming cup of tea and found Tonks making one herself.  
  
"Hiya Remus!" she greeted him cheerfully, "Can I get you a cuppa?"  
  
"That'd be great!" He sat down heavily in a chair.  
  
"You alright, you look a bit stressed."  
  
"I'm fine."  
  
"Ok. So, what you been up to?"  
  
"Nothing!" Remus said a little too harshly, causing Tonks to give him an odd look.  
  
"Alright," she said slowly before proceeding to tell him about whatever it was she had been doing. However it all simply washed over him without making any sense, his mind was simply elsewhere.  
  
"Well, what do you think?" he suddenly heard her ask.  
  
"That it was a very bad idea," he groaned.  
  
"What?!" the young woman looked confused.  
  
Remus looked up, "I'm sorry, what was the question?"  
  
"I asked you what you thought Dung was up to with all those saucepans he keeps stealing, Molly's going mad trying to do the cooking."  
  
"Right."  
  
"What were **you** on about?"  
  
"Nothing. I'm sorry Tonks I'm not really in the mood for conversation."  
  
"Oh," the young woman looked rather downcast, "Ok, I'll just leave you to it."  
  
Remus vaguely noted the disappointed look on her face and was about to call her back when he realised she had already gone and he didn't much want to speak to anyone anyway. He picked up the cup of tea she had left out for him and made his way slowly upstairs, dodging two random Order members, one Weasley twin and an irritatingly concerned Molly.  
  
Safe in his room, Remus sipped gratefully at the scorching liquid and ran a hand through his hair in a flustered manner. _What now? _He was suddenly reminded of Severus making him tea, in what Remus suddenly realised had been a rather thoughtful gesture after that first Order meeting of the summer. They must have all noticed that he had not been handling Sirius' death very well but Severus had been the only one to actually help in any way, no matter how small the gesture.  
  
He set the tea aside and leaned back in the overstuffed, battered armchair that had been moved up from downstairs because Molly claimed she couldn't stand the sight of it any longer. Remus suspected it was really because she thought he needed somewhere comfortable to sit to recover from the painful changes. He was both grateful and annoyed by this idea, he was tired of being treated as different simply because of his condition and the fact that it might in future be a lot more comfortable due to the changes to his potion drew his thoughts instantly back to Severus.  
  
There was to be another Order meeting that night and the last thing he wanted to do was face Severus again and give himself the chance to look even more stupid. It was for this reason that when Molly Weasley told him the meeting would be starting soon and most people staying for a late dinner afterwards he complained of a headache and said he would be unable to join them. The woman seemed suspicious but left him to it without question, for which he was profoundly grateful.  
  
XXXXXXX  
  
The next few days brought no change to his condition of confusion, he had no desire to see Severus at present though he could not deny that he did miss the man and he certainly could not stop himself from thinking about him. At least once a day someone would comment that he didn't seem to be aware of what was going on around him and he consistently came out of his thoughts to find himself much behind the conversation. He was well aware that he was acting like an idiot and that avoiding Severus wouldn't help at all but he found he simply hadn't the courage to go and find him and, as the day of the next Order meeting arrived, he found he lacked the courage even to go down and sit in a room with the other man.  
  
That evening he was sat desperately mulling over his options when a knock came at his bedroom door. "Yes!" he called irritably. Why couldn't they just leave him alone with his thoughts?  
  
Tonks stuck her head around the door, "Are you not coming to the meeting? It's starting in a couple of minutes."  
  
"I'm sorry Tonks I really don't feel up to it, can you make my excuses to Dumbledore?"  
  
"Sure. Are you ok? You missed the one a couple of days ago as well, you might be coming down with something," she frowned in concern.  
  
"I'll be fine, I just can't deal with that right now."  
  
"Ok," she smiled sympathetically, "Want me to bring you some tea afterwards and catch you up on what happened at the meeting?"  
  
"If you want to."  
  
She nodded eagerly, "I'll be here."  
  
He watched her leave feeling more than a little guilty. The young woman seemed to be getting rather too fond of him and he certainly didn't want to start giving her the wrong idea, not to mention the fact he was using her to lie to Dumbledore just because he didn't feel like facing Severus again yet.  
  
It couldn't have been more than twenty minutes before he heard footsteps approaching his room from the other end of the corridor but it didn't sound like Tonks. There wasn't any crashing or swearing for starters but the tread was different too, more measured and definitely quieter. The footsteps stopped outside his door and he heard a knock.  
  
"Come in," he called, standing in confusion and hoping that it wasn't Dumbledore coming to check if he was alright. He hated lying to the man, plus it seemed impossible, but talking about his feelings for Severus was simply not an option.  
  
The door swung open and Remus' breath caught as he saw Severus stood in the doorframe holding a mug of tea. He put this down on the table, stepping inside without waiting to ask for permission, "Your adolescent admirer insisted I bring you this."  
  
"Who?" Remus asked in confusion.  
  
"Little miss clumsy, she's currently having her knee healed by Molly because she spilt boiling water from the kettle down her own leg while trying to pour the tea. With people like her on our side I always feel like we couldn't possibly lose this war."  
  
"She's not that bad, she means well anyway and I can't help it if she's fallen for my winning personality," Remus attempted to smile.  
  
Severus scowled, "You're old enough to be her father."  
  
"Thanks for the reminder. Anyway, she's not my type."  
  
"I doubt she's anybody's type, she's crazy and nigh on incompetent."  
  
"Don't be mean Severus, she could be worse."  
  
"Well she's currently giving Longbottom a run for his money in the clumsy stakes."  
  
Remus smiled slightly.  
  
"You don't look very ill. Don't think I'm complaining but you seem to have been avoiding me."  
  
Remus shook his head, "I haven't been avoiding you."  
  
"Remus you've missed the last two Order meetings, with pathetic excuses! So either you're a lazy bugger who enjoys having the neon haired idiot running round after him, you're avoiding me, or you've just decided to take some timeout to practice your howling at the moon in the middle of the day! Which one is it?"  
  
"I'm sorry, I suppose I just felt a little awkward after what happened the other day. I thought you might be embarrassed or something."  
  
"When have you ever cared about my being embarrassed?" Severus asked, sceptically.  
  
"Well, alright **I** was embarrassed."  
  
"Well you can't just skip Order meetings like this. Please do keep avoiding me, it makes a very nice change to be left alone, but there's only so long you can avoid these meetings for."  
  
"You're right. I'm sorry."  
  
"Don't apologise, I like things much better when you're not around. Anyway, I need to get going." Severus walked out without another world leaving Remus feeling more confused than ever. Why had Severus come to see him at all? He was quite sure that had Tonks chosen to send somebody with the tea she would not have asked Severus unless he were already going to see him anyway, the potions master seemed to intimidate her greatly.  
  
_Not that there are many people Severus doesn't intimidate. Maybe, just maybe this was his way of saying he wanted me to stop avoiding him? Who knows? _Remus slumped into a chair and decided that sooner or later he'd have to test that theory.  
  
XXXXXXX

* * *

Sorry for any Tonks bashing there, I actually really like her I just don't see her and Severus hitting it off, particularly not with her seeming interested in Remus.  
  
Next chapter Remus tests his theory and a stroll is taken through the forbidden forest.  
  
Oh the next chapter is also the second to last in the story. 


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: I just own the plot.  
  
Review Responses:  
  
lilyqueen777 – It sounds like you couldn't get to chapter six right after I'd posted it but that problem appears to have sorted itself out! Thanks for all the reviews! No I don't see the Order as liking Sev much, well some of them probably don't anyway! As for him calling him Remus, well just give it time! I did feel bad about the Tonks bashing because I do love the girl, however as penance for my evilness to her in this story I've written a little side piece for her which I'll explain in the author's notes.  
  
Marilyn, My Bitterness – I had a feeling people might enjoy a naked Sev! Who wouldn't? Thanks for the review and for not stalking me yet!  
  
BekaJWP – Sev definitely doesn't like poor Tonks' attention to Remus, he might not have been quite so cruel if it weren't for that! Then again he's Severus Snape so he might just have been cruel for the fun of it even if she didn't like Remus! Thanks for the review!  
  
Lady of Paranoia – Severus is missing having Remus bother him, but he feels unable to say that so instead we have to rely on Remus working it out for himself! Tonks is a sweet girl, I do love her and I feel sorry that she won't get her man but I do have plans for her to end up happy anyway, for more information see the authors note at the end! I can't imagine myself stopping writing I just love it! Thanks for the review!  
  
Dokuhebi – I hope your waiting for the third film ends soon, in the meantime here's an end to your waiting for chapter seven! Thanks for the review!  
  
Arafel2 – Thanks for reviewing!  
  
ElavielBlack – You're in awe? Wow! I'm flattered! Thanks for the review!  
  
Vampire-Puppet – Thanks for the review!  
  
Gemini Fallen Angel – The film does leave out a lot of explanation for various things, most annoyingly the fact it never says who made the marauders map! Still it is brilliant and definitely the best yet! The time was not right for Remus to do that as I think Severus might have killed him! As to your other question well it might give the end away a bit so I sent you an e-mail instead of answering it here. Thanks for reviewing!  
  
bluebird161221 – Thanks for the review!  
  
just-an-oli – I'm really pleased you like this despite not generally being a slash fan, I don't normally write slash so I was unsure as to how this story was going to be received! Thanks for reviewing!  
  
KittyKat589 – Thank you for the review!  
  
polaris87 – Having done some re-writing, which is explained in the authors note it will now be nine chapters and not eight. I know it's still a short story, particularly for me as I normally write pretty long ones, but it was originally going to be a one shot before I started writing it and realised it was going to be longer than that. I have no plans for a sequel and it kind of has to end where it does I'm afraid, plus I'm writing all kinds of other things at the moment so I don't really have time to do a sequel anyway or any idea of how to do it. There's still another two chapters to go though! Plus there will be a little side piece which again the Author's note will explain. Thanks for the review!  
  
Mei – I think we all wanted to be Remus when he walked in on Snape! As he himself realised even had he been killed by Severus it would have been worth it! Don't worry though he's starting to learn to translate Snape talk, much as Snape would claim he means exactly what he says! Thanks for the review!  
  
Professor M. McGonagall – Thanks for the review!  
  
Dark Comet – Actually it's changed there are another two chapter after this one because I had a bit of a re-write that is explained in the author's note. Severus definitely doesn't like Remus avoiding him but he's not going to be able to say that so we've had to rely on Remus figuring that one out for himself. Thanks for the review!  
  
Bonezz – Sev isn't all evil at all, he's got a good heart buried very deep down! He is fun to write for but it's difficult to write from his POV because he's hard to keep in character sometimes! I'm so pleased people seem to like the bedroom scene, then again practically naked Severus = what's not to like?! Thanks for reviewing!  
  
Ellrohan – Severus is certainly having a hard time admitting he's found a friend but he's going to have to accept it eventually! The theory is about to be tested, hope you enjoy the result! Thanks for the review!  
  
Shades of Grey  
  
_Remus' Thoughts_  
  
**Emphasis**  
  
Chapter 7  
  
Remus waited a week or so after their previous encounter before he actively went looking for Severus again. He had seen the man briefly in another Order meeting but the potions master had left part way through, excusing himself in an odd manner with a look of pain in his eyes. Dumbledore had given him a look of understanding and sympathy and had absolutely refused to allow anyone to talk about it. The headmaster had approached Remus afterwards and advised him that Severus might be busy for the next couple of days and should be left alone in case he were thinking of visiting him.  
  
Impatiently, Remus had waited. After two days though he had run out of patience and gave in to his urge to go to Hogwarts and find Severus. He stood outside the door to the potions laboratory and knocked hesitantly, nervously wondering what kind of reception he could expect.  
  
The door swung open, as though jerked in annoyance, and Severus didn't look very encouraging, "Oh, it's you again. What do you want now?"  
  
"I..." Remus trailed off, Severus clearly didn't want him there at all. He shook his head and went as though to leave but Severus continued to speak.  
  
"Well it's a good job you dropped by anyway, I need some help with a potion."  
  
"You need help with a potion?" Remus asked doubtfully.  
  
"I only have one pair of hands, I need someone to pass me the ingredients while I keep an eye on it, this potion's rather volatile," Severus snapped.  
  
_It's not the only thing around here that's volatile! _"Couldn't you just move the ingredients closer to the cauldron?" Remus asked.  
  
"Lupin, if you're not going to be helpful you can leave."  
  
"No, no, I'll be helpful," Remus insisted quickly.  
  
Severus looked as though he doubted this but waved Remus over to the table with the potions ingredients neatly arrayed on it. "Just hand me what I ask for."  
  
"Ok, I can handle that."  
  
Remus soon found that the task was ridiculously easy, Severus could clearly have managed alone and as he realised this he couldn't hold back a triumphant smile. Severus **did** want to see him.  
  
The potion was soon finished and Severus set it aside to cool. "I'm going to have to go. I need to get some potions ingredients from the forest." He looked almost regretful and Remus felt his confidence returning with what he interpreted as a clear invitation to join him.  
  
_Well it's not exactly a romantic moonlight stroll but it could be fun all the same. _"I'll come with you."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Well we wouldn't want you going in there alone, then again I'd say you're more dangerous than anything that might be lurking in there!"  
  
Severus smirked, "Very probably."  
  
There was a flash of something dangerous in Severus' obsidian eyes, he was as close as Remus had ever seen him to revelling in his own power which Remus knew to be substantial. The darkness inside Severus, the power, the idea that no one ever quite knew where he stood with regard to his double life should have made Remus regret his feelings, but instead he found these things deeply appealing. It was almost as though the darkness within himself responded to the way Severus trod a fine line between good and evil, the way he seemed to be entirely varying shades of grey as opposed to the black and white most people tried to project themselves as being.  
  
"Are you coming or not?" Severus was stood in the doorway, waiting for him.  
  
Remus nodded, "Of course. Lead the way."  
  
Severus swept from the dungeon and up to the ground floor of the castle. Remus followed him, through the Great Hall and the magnificent entrance and out into the sunshine, noting with no small amount of amusement that the bright light made Severus scowl and flinch slightly after his long hours in the dungeons. Remus on the other hand revelled in being back in the sunshine, feeling it's warmth banish the cold of the dungeons and fill him with energy. He ran forward and caught up with the other man.  
  
"So, what are we looking for?"  
  
"**You**aren't looking for anything, these samples have to be harvested properly or they will be useless and I don't have the time or the inclination to instruct you on how to do it."  
  
Remus nodded, "You often go into the forest?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"It doesn't bother you?"  
  
"Not in the least. Whatever may be lurking in there, it's no worse than things I've seen before."  
  
Remus raised an eyebrow, "Still, most people don't exactly **like **going in there."  
  
"Scared Lupin?" Severus smirked, "Because I'm not holding your hand."  
  
"I'm not scared, I rather like the idea of going back in there and I don't need you to hold my hand. Of course, if you really wanted to I suppose I could let you."  
  
Severus scowled in outrage as Remus strode ahead of him and into the edge of the dark, forbidding mass of trees.  
  
Remus couldn't hold back a smile at getting the last word while Severus remained silent as he chose a path and stormed along it.  
  
They wandered for maybe half an hour deep in the forest; Severus collecting samples of leaves and flowers and roots. Remus watching intently, seeing little difference between all the plants but strangely enjoying being back in the forest. He had been in there so many times before in his wolf form, back in the days before he had taken the wolfsbane potion. The sounds and sights of the dimly lit forest were familiar to him yet they seemed different in the weak daylight. Severus, he noted, seemed to know the forest almost as well as he did and, though he seemed more on his guard than Remus was, he moved with confidence into places most teachers at the school wouldn't enter unless dire need called for it. He looked like he belonged there, walking amongst some of the most dark and dangerous creatures the magical world contained. Remus raised an eyebrow and glanced at the man, thinking that maybe Severus could be described as being one of those creatures himself.  
  
Remus however had been too absorbed in watching Severus and suddenly felt his foot catch on something, pulling him down in an undignified heap, knocking Severus' plant samples out of his hands and landing on most of them.  
  
"Lupin!" Severus snapped, "Why do you insist on being such a graceless idiot?"  
  
Remus groaned and rubbed his ankle, glaring at the large root which had tripped him, "Can you help me up?"  
  
The potions master seemed more interested in his spilt ingredients, "No I can't."  
  
"Severus, I think I'm hurt!"  
  
"Good! You've sat on half my plant samples!"  
  
"Is that all you're worried about?"  
  
"Yes. What else would I be worrying about?"  
  
"Me?" Remus asked hopefully  
  
"Fat chance."  
  
"Severus!" Remus tried to pull himself up using a nearby tree for support.  
  
Severus sighed and grabbed his arm, hauling him to his feet. "For goodness sake Lupin! What's wrong?"  
  
"My ankle hurts, I think I've twisted it."  
  
"Well heal it then!"  
  
"I can't, I'm not much good at healing spells."  
  
"Hogwarts teachers are required to have at least a basic knowledge of first aid and healing Lupin, I believe this would classify as basic."  
  
"Well I was only a teacher here for a year, I never got around to doing that. Why don't you just heal it?"  
  
Severus scowled, "I can't."  
  
"Why not?"  
  
"I'm not much good at healing spells either, I'll probably make it worse."  
  
Remus smirked, "I thought Hogwarts teachers were required to have a basic knowledge of first aid and healing?"  
  
"I have. I can brew you a potion for it or for that matter for almost any other complaint you might have but I can't do that here can I?"  
  
"Well you're just going to have to help me back to the school then," Remus decided.  
  
"Oh am I?" Severus didn't look like he responded well to being told what to do.  
  
"You're not just going to leave me here are you?"  
  
"It's tempting. However, I believe Dumbledore might consider it the last straw and finally sack me and then I wouldn't be able to continue to destroy Potter's adolescence."  
  
"Severus!"  
  
"Yes, you're right he does that well enough by himself."  
  
Remus was irritated by Severus' comments and by the pain in his ankle, "That's not funny!"  
  
Severus raised an eyebrow that said he knew exactly who had the upper hand. "Do you want my help or not?"  
  
Remus' complaints subsided, "Yes."  
  
"Then stop complaining, or I **will **leave you here."  
  
Remus grinned, "You wouldn't, something might eat me and then what would you do?"  
  
"Open a bottle of champagne."  
  
"Drowning your sorrow in alcohol."  
  
Severus smirked, "Celebrating your timely demise actually."  
  
"Yes, you'd put on such a brave face but inside you'd be dying!"  
  
"Shut up, Lupin."  
  
Severus had finished collecting what was left of his plants and putting them carefully into a bag which he slung over his shoulder before coming to stand at Remus' side and slipping a surprisingly strong arm around his waist. "Come on, let's get out of here."  
  
Remus placed his arm around Severus' shoulders, enjoying the close contact suddenly being offered. "Why Severus, I didn't know you felt that way about me!"  
  
Severus looked momentarily confused before looking down at his own arm and scowling. "I can't levitate you all the way back to Hogwarts Lupin and you can't walk on your own so unless you have a better solution we'll both just have to put up with this, no matter what our personal feelings. Well that or I really **could **just leave you here, so what's it going to be?"  
  
The werewolf leaned in to him, allowing Severus to take some of the weight from his injured ankle, "I didn't say I minded did I?"  
  
Severus shot him a scornful look, one eyebrow arched, his eyes holding a look of superiority and suddenly Remus felt himself pulling slightly away. He had expected Severus to snap at him or look uncomfortable or both but the man simply looked intimidating and there was something else in his expression that Remus found himself a little afraid of. Almost like Severus was considering picking up the gauntlet Remus had teasingly thrown down and that idea was suddenly deeply unnerving.  
  
Severus allowed Remus to pull away for a moment before jerking him roughly back to his side, bringing him perhaps a little closer than he needed to be. As he pulled Remus towards him Severus' hand slipped from his waist past his hip and down to his leg; he moved it back again immediately, but slowly enough to suggest that it had not been accidental.  
  
Panic wasn't a strong enough word to cover the way Remus was feeling. Things had been developing between them lately, the very fact Severus hadn't killed him or even pushed him away completely after his many acts of gross stupidity that summer was testament to how much things had developed. Still, Remus didn't think that until this moment he had ever quite seen things as being possible. The thought now entered his mind that it was just possible that the powerful, intense man who was at that moment holding him tightly around the waist might in fact feel the same way he did. And that was a singularly terrifying thought.  
  
The feelings a simple brush of Severus' hand across his hip had awoken were more than Remus knew how to deal with. Instinct was telling him to run but he couldn't even do that, incapacitated as he was and with the other's man's tight grip holding him in place he had found himself at Severus' mercy. He wondered briefly if Severus knew what mercy was, if he had any idea how simultaneously scared, aroused and desperate to be anywhere else, at the same time as not quite wanting to leave, Remus was feeling. Severus' face however was impassive as he helped Remus to limp along the path but there was something in his eyes that suggested he knew exactly what he was doing and that he was rather enjoying it himself.  
  
**Was** he enjoying it? _Am **I **enjoying it? _If Severus was enjoying it what did that mean? What was happening between them? A thousand questions drifted through Remus' confused mind and the only one he seemed to be able to definitively answer was that, despite his sheer terror, he **was **enjoying it. Not that that made his fear go away, in fact that admission only served to increase it.  
  
He also was forced to admit that Severus would have to a be complete fool not to know exactly how he had affected Remus, how much he had scared, aroused and confused him. And Severus Snape was not a fool. Whatever dignity Remus had scraped together after his insane babbling at seeing the other man practically naked was now lost completely. He wasn't sure what was scarier, the idea that he didn't know what Severus was going to do or the idea that if Severus brushed his hip like that one more time he didn't know what **he **was going to do.  
  
After what felt like an age, but still passed too quickly for Remus, they reached the edge of the forest and were able to head back up to the school.  
  
Once Remus had gathered his composure enough to speak without saying anything too stupid he asked, "So are you going to brew me a potion when we get back?"  
  
Severus was acting as though nothing had happened, "It would be quicker to go and find Minerva, she's busy writing the school letters for next year and her healing spells are perfectly adequate. You'll have to wait a while if I brew a potion because I haven't got any ready made at the moment, seeing as I wasn't expecting a visit from a clumsy werewolf who can't even walk in a straight line without tripping over his own feet."  
  
In his already vulnerable state Remus felt Severus' comment hit harder than usual. "Sorry Severus, I didn't do this on purpose though!"  
  
Severus snorted, "I wouldn't put it past you to."  
  
"Just to annoy you?" Remus asked doubtfully, "I can annoy you just as effectively in ways which are less painful to me." _Less confusing too!_  
  
They continued, still bickering, into the entrance hall in time to see Minerva McGonagall emerge from the Great Hall, a sheaf of parchment in her hands. "What have you two been up to?" she sighed.  
  
Remus couldn't help a slight flush at that comment. Severus on the other hand answered with a calm disinterest that might well have been calculated to drive Remus insane. "I was collecting potions ingredients in the forest, Lupin came with me and tripped over a tree root. I think he's twisted his ankle," Severus explained.  
  
"I don't know, you two are more trouble now than you were when you were at school!" McGonagall bent down and cast a spell on Remus's ankle, "It's sprained." She muttered another spell and Remus found the pain leave him and he was able to put his weight on his foot properly again.  
  
"Thank you Minerva, that feels much better," he smiled gratefully, though he was certainly sorry to have to let go of Severus.  
  
"You're lucky I was here you know!" she grumbled good naturedly, "Severus, one day you're going to have to face the fact that an afternoon with Poppy learning to perform a few simple healing spells correctly wouldn't kill you! It would benefit you actually! You worry me with your work, if anything went wrong you wouldn't be able to heal yourself!"  
  
"Minerva if I got the chance to heal myself then I would not be suffering from anything I couldn't cope with and I think you can rest assured that I would not get the chance to heal myself were anything to go wrong."  
  
Remus couldn't help but feel as though they had both forgotten his presence. He was however grateful for the lull to pull himself back together. The way Severus had been behaving was still getting to him and his sudden reversion to cold and almost indifferent was deeply frustrated.  
  
"Severus, that is not exactly comforting!" the woman snapped.  
  
The potions master frowned, "You're right, it isn't; you try living like that! I'm afraid your comfort isn't at the forefront of my mind."  
  
"Now Severus you know exactly what I meant! I worry about you!"  
  
"More fool you," the potions professor sneered.  
  
"Severus Snape, are you ever going to grow up and just accept that there are people out there who care about you?!" McGonagall scolded.  
  
"You should you know, because people do," Remus put in quietly, causing the two arguing professors to look at him as though they'd only just remembered he was there.  
  
"Remus is quite right," McGonagall glared at Severus, "People do care and you should take better care of yourself!"  
  
Severus smirked and his manner became less cold, "Is this going to turn into one of those conversations where you start telling me I should be eating my greens?"  
  
McGonagall smiled despite herself, "You're impossible. How you put up with him Remus is beyond me!"  
  
"The question is more how **I** put up with **him**," Severus objected.  
  
"Ah, so you can put up with me!" Remus exclaimed triumphantly, some measure of his confidence returning as he realised that, scary as it had been, he had come pretty close to finding that Severus wanted the same thing he did. "See, I knew we were making progress."  
  
McGonagall laughed, "I think I'll leave you two to it, unfortunately these letters won't write themselves even in the magical world."  
  
"If it's too much on top of everything else you have to do, I could deal with the Slytherin's letters," Severus offered.  
  
The tall, stately witch smiled gratefully, "That's alright, you've got quite enough to do, but thank you for the offer."  
  
"You're welcome. I was just trying to make sure you didn't **accidentally forget **to send the Slytherins their letters so that you could start taking points from them the minute they got here for not having the right books."  
  
McGonagall gave him a superior look, "Gryffindors don't cheat to win."  
  
Severus smirked, "Explaining perfectly why you always lose."  
  
"If Slytherin win the quidditch cup this year I'll eat my hat!" the woman exclaimed.  
  
"How about we have a bet; you win, I expel Potter, I win, I kill him?"  
  
"Severus!" Remus frowned.  
  
McGonagall merely shook her head, "I've got work to do, I'm not standing here fighting with you two all day!" she swept away leaving the two men standing together in the entrance hall.  
  
"Can you not leave Harry alone?" Remus asked exasperatedly.  
  
"No."  
  
"I didn't think so somehow."  
  
"At least you've accepted the way things are."  
  
"Are you going to offer me a cup of tea?"  
  
"No."  
  
"I didn't think that was going happen either."  
  
"You really are finally catching on to reality aren't you Lupin?"  
  
Remus frowned, "Reality's no fun."  
  
"No. It isn't." Severus said seriously before turning to the werewolf suddenly, a slight smile tugging at his lips, "Do you really want a cup of tea?"  
  
Remus smiled back, stepping closer to Severus, "Yes. Is that an offer?"  
  
"I suppose so."  
  
The two made their way down the staircase to the dungeons and Remus knew there was something far more significant to what was happening than Severus simply offering him a cup of tea. As they walked down the stairs he raised his hand casually and brushed Severus' arm. He was both slightly surprised and deeply pleased that Severus didn't shrug him off or step away from him as he might have done at the start of the summer. Things had definitely changed and Remus was feeling scared and excited as they continued towards Severus' private rooms.  
  
Severus suddenly stopped in his tracks and gripped his arm. "Actually Lupin, I don't think tea's a good idea. You should just go."  
  
Remus stepped towards him in concern, "Are you alright?"  
  
Severus backed away, "Just go!"  
  
"Severus," Remus suddenly realised what was happening, "You're being summoned aren't you?"  
  
Severus nodded curtly, "Leave."  
  
"What do you think he wants?"  
  
"I don't know."  
  
"What if he's found out about you?"  
  
"Thank you for bringing that happy possibility to the forefront of my mind!"  
  
"But, I mean, maybe you shouldn't go!"  
  
"Shouldn't go? Do you have any comprehension of what would happen to me if I didn't?" Severus snapped before adopting a more reassuring tone, "Lupin, this happens fairly regularly. There's no point in having a panic attack every time. I'll see you when I get back. Now just leave and forget about it."  
  
"I don't think I could forget about this if I tried," Remus said, fully meaning it.  
  
"Lupin, I have to leave!"  
  
Remus nodded, "Be careful."  
  
Severus nodded briefly, "Go home Lupin."  
  
As Severus set off through the Slytherin dungeons, undoubtedly heading for an exit known only to himself and Dumbledore, Remus leaned heavily against the wall. He knew what Severus did and he knew it was necessary but he'd never had to watch him leave before. Or had he? Remus suddenly remembered the dark man's abrupt departure from the Order meeting the other day.  
  
"Damn it!" he hit the wall in frustration. Voldemort's timing could hardly have been worse, he just had to choose then to summon Severus didn't he? Remus was faintly amused until he was once again hit with where Severus had gone. In his mind he knew that this time was no more dangerous for Severus than any other, but Remus also knew that the butterflies of fear in his stomach weren't going anywhere until he knew the other man was coming back alive and well.  
  
XXXXXXX

* * *

A/N: Ok, a couple of things to say. The first is that this story has suffered a re-write of the last few chapters, which is why this update is a little delayed. There will now be nine chapters instead of eight and chapter eight is coming from Severus' POV. This was asked for both in reviews and by my friend who's basically by beta reader but also my muse! She gave me a whole load of ideas that meant a re-write of the last two chapters I had and the adding of a third chapter from Sev's perspective so you get a longer story!  
  
The second thing is that I'm writing a little side piece (just a one-shot) to go with this, it fits in with the story but focuses on Tonks who I felt bad for making her fall hopelessly for Remus! It'll be Tonks/Charlie Weasley and they'll be a little hint of Sev and Remus. It's just something I wanted to have a go at so that poor Tonks didn't end up alone as I do love her!  
  
Third thing is I'm going away for a week so the updates will be as follows, hopefully!  
  
Chapter Eight – Friday 2nd July  
  
Chapter Nine – 10th or 11th July (Saturday or Sunday)  
  
I'll post the Charlie/Tonks one shot the week after that.  
  
I've tried to arrange things so the wait is as close to a week each time as possible but this is the best I'm going to be able to manage. I'll defiantly post chapter eight on the second and I'll say then if chapter nine might be difficult but it shouldn't be.  
  
Thanks to anyone who actually read that very long author's note!  
  
If you enjoyed it, or want to beat me up for calling Sev away when I did, drop me a review and say so! :o) 


	8. Chapter 8

Disclaimer: I just own the plot.  
  
Review Responses:  
  
AffectedMangoO – Things were going nicely but I'm afraid life isn't that simple and Sev has a very unpredictable life! The forest did slightly remind him of the marauders in that he remembered the times he'd been there without the wolfsbane potion and I'd assume they'd have been there then but for the most part I think Remus is starting to move on. Thanks for the review!  
  
Marilyn, My Bitterness – There's an extra plate at the dinner table just in case! Just do me a favour and leave the stick behind, I fear it may be used against me and justifiably so as that was a very cruel place to leave things! Sorry about the cliffhanger! Thank you for reviewing!  
  
Mei – Sev's let Remus in to a degree but I'm afraid he'll spend this chapter convincing himself he isn't doing that! LOL! Sev's screwed up but he'll never be passive, I just couldn't see him that way! Thanks for the review!  
  
Lorraine – They will be friends but there will be romance for them one day, you'll just have to wait and see if they manage to get together within this actual story! Thanks for reviewing!  
  
Lupine Wolf – Thanks for the in-character comments! I do fear getting them out of character but keeping Severus in character and making him interact with people beyond killing them is rather tricky! Thanks for reviewing!  
  
bluebird161221 – Sorry about the bad timing of this chapter but if it's any consolation at least when you get back to the computer you should be able to read two chapters at once! Thanks for reviewing!  
  
BekaJWP – Things definitely got heated in that last chapter and Remus is beginning to realise he's messing with a very dangerous person and the poor man's starting to feel rather nervous! Sorry to snatch it all away but the two of them were bound to be affected by Sev's spy work sooner or later. Thanks for the review!  
  
Dokuhebi – As to what would have happened had they made it to Sev's room, use your imagination, in fact let it run away with you, things were certainly very charged and intense between them. Sev certainly did enjoy having Remus that close to him (who wouldn't?), Sev will be most annoyed that you know his secret desires for a certain annoying werewolf! Thanks for the review!  
  
Snapecharmer – I'm always pleased to hear people who aren't usually slash fans are enjoying this anyway! The third film is definitely the best! I apologise for Snape being called away but sadly in the real world these things happen at very inappropriate times, after all Voldy's hardly going to ask Sev if it's convenient for him to be summoned. Though I'm sure Severus wishes he would! :o) Thanks for the review!  
  
Lady of Paranoia – I hope this chapter does give some insight into how Sev's feeling, it was missing in the story so this is an attempt to correct that. Thanks for the review!  
  
Marie Falcon – Harry/Draco? Not a fan, prefer Draco and Ron really but then Severus and I share a view on Harry most of the time! I love Severus' personality! He's so sarcastic and bitter and wants to be evil but has a good heart somewhere underneath it all! I love the guy basically, especially when JK goes on about that silky voice and those penetrating eyes! I think I'll be contributing a lot of fanfic in the near future, not sure if it'll be worth reading but I'm in the process of writing quite a lot! Thanks for the review!  
  
Ellrohan – Voldy's timing's dreadful isn't it? He has no thought to spare for poor Severus' sex life! Sadly he's now here in person getting to poor Severus! Thanks for reviewing!  
  
Gemini Fallen Angel – I always finish stories I post, I couldn't bear to leave them hanging! You're very welcome about the e-mail, it was no trouble at all. The third book did have a lot in it so the film cutting stuff out is understandable but I just worry about how much they'll have to cut out in order to film the fourth book! I have finished writing this story apart from a few last minute checks on grammar and punctuation and stuff but I'm having fun writing other stuff now. Thanks for reviewing!  
  
just-an-oli – Here's a new chapter to stop you feeling sad, only one more after this though. Thanks for the review!  
  
lilyqueen777 – Here we go with the scary inner working of Severus Snape! Thanks for reviewing!  
  
Bonezz – Oh I didn't re-write the stuff that was already posted just the stuff I was yet to post but was already written, the story was all finished but then a conversation with my friend and muse (who also happens to be the devil!) ended up with an extensive re-write of chapters seven and eight and another chapter being added in the middle of them! Personally I'm kind of glad this is shorter than Wedding Bells as I've got so much else to work on including a fic that's looking like it may come close to the length of Wedding Bells! Sev is the best and he is hard to write for but worth the effort! I can see Severus being a sarcastic friend, it may be difficult to get close to him but I feel sure McGonagall and Dumbledore would count themselves as his friends! Actually the trip's tomorrow and it's to Scotland, I just posted this late so that the gap until the next chapter would be as short as possible! Thanks for the review!  
  
Shades of Grey  
  
**_Severus' Thoughts_**  
  
_Remus' Thoughts_  
  
**Emphasis**  
  
Chapter 8  
  
Not wishing to brave the noise and life of Grimmauld Place just yet, Remus headed for the Hogwarts library after watching Severus leave. He had expected it to be empty, hoping for some time in which to sort out his frustrated thoughts, but it turned out McGonagall had been working there.  
  
"Remus, what are you doing here? I thought you were with Severus?"  
  
"I was." He sat down in the chair opposite her at the small table she was working at, feeling like one of her students again. "He was summoned."  
  
A cloud passed over the woman's face and she gave him a sad smile, "I was about to take a break anyway, why don't you stay and have a cup of tea with me."  
  
"I think I'll just go back," Remus replied quietly.  
  
"Remus, you really look as though you could use a cup of tea."  
  
He smiled, "As always Minerva, you're right. That would be very kind, thank you."  
  
"Kindness doesn't enter into it, I'm dying to get away from these blasted letters, muggles have the strangest postal addresses!"  
  
Sitting drinking tea with his ex-professor and seeing how calmly she had taken his news helped to soothe Remus' nerves a little but it did nothing to calm his frustration at how things had been brought to an abrupt halt between himself and Severus.  
  
"I've actually been wanting to say how pleased I am to see you reaching out to Severus like this," McGonagall broke the silence. "He needs someone and he seems to have grown rather fond of you. I know it's hard to believe that there's anyone in this world Severus likes, but you have a good effect on him. After he's seen you he seems much happier with life and there aren't many people who can produce that effect in him. Admittedly every now and again he storms around threatening to kill you but I've learnt never to take Severus' death threats too seriously, too many of them have been aimed at me!"  
  
Remus smiled despite his frustration and worry, "Does he really seem happier after seeing me?"  
  
"Yes, he does and if you don't mind me saying your mood seems to have improved considerably this summer since you and he started to spend time together."  
  
"Oddly enough I found I enjoy his company."  
  
"He's very good company when he's not ranting against the evils of the world."  
  
"I don't even mind it when he rants, I think it does him good to let it all out."  
  
"Probably," McGonagall agreed.  
  
Remus fell silent once more and McGonagall tapped him sharply on the arm making him look up at her again. "Remus, I know it's a shock actually seeing him leave but you have to accept that it happens fairly often and he's always come back so far. All we can do is keep hoping that he'll keep coming back."  
  
Remus looked at his old Professor and saw the worry etched on her face, "I know. I should let you get on with those letters."  
  
"Yes you probably should. I'm starting to agree with Severus about one thing though, the first years cause more trouble than they're worth and that's before they even get here!"  
  
"When he gets back would you owl me to let me know?"  
  
She smiled sadly at him. "I'll get him to owl you himself. Now try not to worry too much."  
  
He nodded, "Thank you for the tea and the conversation."  
  
"Anytime Remus."  
  
XXXXXXX  
  
When Severus first felt his mark burn that day he would have done anything to ignore it. He and Lupin had been making their way to his rooms, ostensibly for tea but there had certainly been a very different idea in the subtext of their conversation.  
  
Their banter had been subtly changing through their meetings throughout the summer, he had allowed Lupin to get closer to him and he had found himself coming to know Remus Lupin far more intimately than he had ever expected or wanted to.  
  
They had been a mere corridor length away from his room when he had felt the burning sensation begin to pull his attention away from the other man. He gripped his arm and stepped away from Lupin, instinctively placing a greater physical distance between them.  
  
He searched quickly for a way to remove himself from Lupin's company and simply decided to tell him to leave. "Actually Lupin, I don't think tea's a good idea. You should just go."  
  
"Are you alright?"  
  
Remus took a step towards him, hand extended as though to touch his arm again, causing Severus to instantly step back. "Just go!"  
  
"Severus," Lupin looked confused before understanding dawned in those warm hazel eyes and, worst of all, sympathy. "You're being summoned aren't you?"  
  
Unwilling to discuss the issue and angered by the concerned and sympathetic nature of the man before him, Severus nodded briefly, "Leave."  
  
Lupin didn't leave though, in fact showed no intentions of doing so but at least he seemed to have taken the hint to keep his distance and no longer tried to approach Severus. "What do you think he wants?"  
  
The pointlessness of the question annoyed Severus, "I don't know," he snapped.  
  
Worry became clear in Lupin's expression, "What if he's found out about you?"  
  
Severus could have killed him quite happily at that moment, the thought that haunted him every time the mark burned, the thought he never voiced aloud because it seemed far too close to tempting the fates had just been spoken by this fool who was well on the way to getting him killed. He took a deep breath and glared at Lupin, "Thank you for bringing that happy possibility to the forefront of my mind!"  
  
"But, I mean, maybe you shouldn't go!" There was a desperation in the other man's voice which Severus easily ignored in his anger and in his own desperation to get away.  
  
"Shouldn't go? Do you have any comprehension of what would happen to me if I didn't?" Seeing the concern in Lupin's eyes made Severus feel deeply uncomfortable but at the same time he also felt the need to say something to calm the other man down. "Lupin, this happens fairly regularly. There's no point in having a panic attack every time. I'll see you when I get back. Now just leave and forget about it."  
  
"I don't think I could forget about this if I tried," Lupin said, quietly.  
  
"Lupin, I have to leave!" Severus was becoming desperate, whatever Lupin felt needed resolving between the two of them it was going to have to wait or he might not be coming back in any condition to resolve it.  
  
Lupin nodded, seeming to finally catch on to the fact that Severus did not have the time to hold a conversation. "Be careful."  
  
Severus nodded briefly in response, "Go home Lupin," he sighed, he really didn't want to do this. Still, certain things were necessary and sadly his information about the deatheaters activities was one of those things. He turned without another word and walked swiftly up the corridor. Upon reaching his room he grabbed the portkey which would take him to the castle gates and activated it. He discarded it upon reaching the gates and apparated instantly to the Dark Lord's side.  
  
"You're late, Severus," a low voice, next to his ear, whispered unnervingly. Not that Severus could afford to show he was unnerved.  
  
He bowed his head respectfully, turning to see the Dark Lord before him, "I apologise my Lord, I was with some of the other Hogwarts staff and it was difficult to excuse myself without arousing suspicion."  
  
"Well we can't have people getting suspicious, now can we? I hope you were careful, Severus."  
  
"I was my Lord."  
  
The Dark Lord smiled his usual cold, cruel smile, "Good, I knew **you** would not fail me. Recent events have been most trying."  
  
"I feel sure that they will provide you with no more than a temporary set back my Lord."  
  
The smile widened slightly, "Ah Severus, I do love your faith." He placed a fatherly hand on Severus shoulder and guided him to another room. Severus had no idea where they were, somewhere outside of Britain he assumed, there were no windows and all the rooms were ill lit and unremarkable. He followed the Dark Lord into the potions laboratory with carefully suppressed relief, if all he wanted was another potion then this would not be one of his worst nights.  
  
"How can I serve you, my Lord?"  
  
"I require another one or two of your potions, Severus, the instructions are on the table as to what we need. I'm afraid I must leave you to it, I have other things to attend to."  
  
Severus inclined his head towards the man who had once been Tom Riddle, "I'll get to work immediately, my Lord."  
  
"I'll be back later to see how you're doing." The always unspoken threat, they both knew that if Severus was not doing as he was told, when and how he was told, exactly as the Dark Lord wished, the consequences would not be pleasant for him.  
  
He watched as the Dark Lord left, only turning to look at the list of potions he had to create when he was out of sight. 'One or two' was in fact nearer ten different potions he was required to brew. Severus didn't mind though, none of them were too difficult for him and he would much rather brew the potions than see other aspects of the Death Eaters activities.  
  
Once the various cauldrons were bubbling away, he moved between them, stirring and adding ingredients while his mind began to drift. Thanks to his skill and experience there were few potions now which required his full attention and none of the ones he was currently brewing did, so Severus found his mind wandering back to the previous events of the day, anything but dwell on what else it was the Dark Lord had gone to attend to.  
  
He had been surprised by Lupin's arrival that afternoon, the man had been avoiding him for over a week and Severus had been pleased to see an end to that. Lupin had often proved a welcome distraction over the last few weeks. With the school year over Severus had often found his unoccupied mind focusing on things he would much rather forget. The werewolf was an annoyance but he found he rarely thought about the Dark Lord and his dual role when Lupin was around. He snorted in irritation at the idea that he had in some way needed Lupin's help or for that matter needed anyone's help. _**Probably the one use the mangy creature has ever had in his miserable life.  
**_  
He added another shrivelfig to one of the potions and his mind was drawn back to the events in the forest. His first thought at the werewolf falling over his own feet had been how typically annoying of him it was. It was Lupin's continuous innuendo however which had finally baited Severus far enough for him to try a different tactic in their ongoing verbal conflict. He been fairly sure that, despite all of Lupin's talk, were he to actually respond to his not so subtle flirtation the other man would back off in fear.  
  
Severus Snape was capable of being a deeply sadistic man when the occasion called for it and Remus Lupin had been asking for trouble ever since he had gained the last word upon entering the forest. It had been with this in mind that Severus had pulled him closer, allowing his hand to brush across his hip, the sadist in him taking pleasure in the look of fear, shock and intimidation in the other man, also the flush that told Severus Lupin had enjoyed it. He found the fact that the man could knowingly play with fire and then be surprised that he had got burnt very amusing to watch.  
  
The memory of the incident brought a small smile unbidden to his lips. But this wouldn't do, he thought, he couldn't spend his time thinking about Remus Lupin and he had no desire to do so.  
  
He stopped smiling and instead went back to his long-standing considerations of where he was; the Dark Mark created a link to Voldemort which meant he could apparate to his side without knowing his location. There were few clues to their whereabouts though, Severus had tried speaking to the other Death Eaters but no else seemed to know where they were either. Dumbledore and other members of the Order had been putting pressure on him to find out the location but so far Severus had failed to do so. Demonstrating excessive curiosity was not a good idea, in fact it was one which would likely get him killed, but he had to try.  
  
Severus was still paying the price for the mistakes of his youth, he was denied a normal life and that fact had been clearly demonstrated before when the Dark Lord's summons had taken him from Lupin's company. He was aware that though his actions towards the other man that afternoon had begun as sadistic fun they had escalated to the point where he now wondered what would have happened had he not been called away. The manner in which Lupin had brushed his arm as they had descended the stairs and, perhaps more relevantly, the fact that he had allowed him to suggested that the nature of their relationship was altering and that tea probably wasn't the only thing on either of their minds. He wasn't sure in retrospect whether his being called away therefore was a good thing or not. He was **not** going to think about Lupin though!  
  
He turned his attention back to the potions, several of which were already finished. He extinguished the fire to allow them to cool and focused on the others. For the next half an hour he was able to keep his attention on the remaining cauldrons, they did not require so much focus but if left to its own devices his mind seemed to have developed a tendency to wander. It was the direction it tended to wander in that was the most annoying part and was also slightly disturbing.  
  
He was forced to admit to himself that developments with Lupin were beginning to unnerve him. The werewolf's innuendo he had at first written off as just a new way to annoy him, something Lupin seemed intent on making a career out of, **_probably because the lycanthopy amusingly prevents him making a career of anything else._** However, it had been his reaction to catching Severus in bed that had first made Severus doubt that that was all that was going on. Lupin had acted very strangely, he had been too flustered to simply have thought Severus was going to exact revenge for the intrusion, it had been almost as though he...as though he had another motive behind that innuendo and flirtation beside Severus' discomfort. A theory that had been backed up by Lupin's reaction to him in the forest but it made no sense. After all the idea that **anyone** would feel anything but fear and contempt for him was ludicrous enough, causing him to doubt the truth of those people who claimed to be his friends, but the idea that Lupin's feelings on the matter had moved somewhere beyond friendship was beyond laughable. It was also deeply unsettling.  
  
Lupin had undeniably reacted to his touch in the forest and if Severus was honest with himself, not necessarily an easy thing for a man so accustomed to self-deception, Lupin was not the only one who had reacted. His mind leapt back to the way Lupin had shook his hand the morning after the full moon, to the shock of...**something **that had run through him and more particularly to the shared glance with Lupin that had indicated they had both felt it. But this really was ridiculous, so he'd got a static shock from Lupin that was **all**. As for the events in the forest, of course he'd enjoyed it after all he did like watching people suffer, particularly one of those people who had made his high school years so unbearable, and Lupin **had** looked very uncomfortable. It had not been part of the plan for Lupin to enjoy it as well as being uncomfortable, why would he want him to? He wouldn't.  
  
Still he was beginning to think that what he had done was not his best idea to date. He was not supposed to go around stroking Lupin's hip and then agonising over it, he was supposed to go around poisoning Lupin's wolfsbane and then throwing a party to celebrate getting rid of him. Not that he **was** agonising but he shouldn't be thinking about it at all.  
  
It was with this in mind that he forced his thoughts back to the beetles he was viciously grinding into a fine powder, only to realise that he had long ago finished. He added them slowly to the right cauldron, stirring them in.  
  
Once the potions were finished he turned his thoughts to his lucky escape on this occasion. Lately every time he had been summoned it had been to something horrific, something he would rather forget but knew he never would no matter how long he lived. Not that he was likely to live very long, this deception could not work forever and the chances were that he would be discovered before the Dark Lord was defeated. He had lived with this thought for so long it no longer held much power over him, he had little to live for and it was not as though he would leave anyone behind. Unless you counted Remus Lupin and Severus wasn't sure that he did.  
  
He was beginning to get very annoyed, no matter what he thought about his mind seemed to drift back to the subject of Remus Lupin of its own accord.  
  
"Severus?" A voice from the doorway surprised him, he should have been paying more attention. "Finished yet?"  
  
"Yes my Lord." Severus was furious with himself for allowing himself to be caught off guard.  
  
"You seemed distracted Severus, what were you thinking? Tell me."  
  
It was more of an effort than usual to clear his mind, to not allow the Dark Lord to see his true thoughts. He seemed satisfied however as Severus answered, "I was merely wondering how the recruitment was going?"  
  
"Well you can come and see for yourself, we're having a little initiation ritual tonight and then we're going to have a little fun. I came to fetch you if you'd finished, I knew you wouldn't want to miss the entertainment."  
  
Severus had a horrible idea of what kind of 'entertainment' the Dark Lord was referring to and shuddered internally. Perhaps tonight would not be so easy after all.  
  
XXXXXXX  
  
Back at Grimmauld Place Remus tried to forget everything in the noise and bustle of the Weasley family whose second son Charlie had recently returned from Romania and had thankfully taken Tonks' attention away from Remus. Not that her attention to Charlie was in anyway positive, they were constantly bickering from what he had seen, but at least the girl seemed to have forgotten her previous crush a little. It didn't matter what Remus did though he couldn't forget where Severus currently was and he tossed and turned trying to sleep that night. No news had yet arrived and the tension in his stomach was getting worse, the fear that something could have happened to Severus was all his over-active mind could focus on.  
  
A sudden tapping at the window disturbed him just as he was drifting off into a troubled sleep. He climbed out of bed and threw back the heavy drapes to see a tawny owl tapping insistently against the glass. "Well you're impatient aren't you?" he muttered and pulled open the window to let the bird fly inside.  
  
With trembling fingers he untied the note from the bird's leg, the owl gave him a nip when it decided he was taking too long but eventually Remus had the note in his hand.  
  
Minerva insisted I owl you to let you know I was alright. I'm fine, though I doubt you care anyway.  
  
Severus Snape  
  
Remus couldn't find it in him to be annoyed at Severus' cold tone, a combination of relief and sympathy for the other man blocked out everything else. The owl looked tired and he stroked it's feathers affectionately, surprised when it refrained from trying to bite him again. "I'm sorry, I haven't got any owl treats."  
  
The owl gave a little hoot of disappointment before turning it's back on him superciliously and flying out the still open window. "Trust Severus to even have an owl that thinks I'm beneath it!" Remus chuckled.  
  
XXXXXXX  
  
Arriving back at Hogwarts Severus was exhausted and felt rather like he had been run over by the Hogwarts Express, the Dark Lord had been in a terribly unpredictable mood that night and it seemed none of them had escaped his ridiculous temper. Personally Severus thought the fact that the Dark Lord was becoming more unstable was both a good and a bad thing, it was a bad thing for anyone who had to go near him but he supposed it would be a good thing if he lost what small grip he had on reality, thus allowing the Order and the Ministry to defeat him.  
  
He walked slowly up to the school, not appreciating the long walk. The entrance hall was empty and dimly lit as he made his way across it and he was grateful for that, he had neither the inclination to deal with people or anything of any great value to report.  
  
Upon reaching his rooms he downed a pain-killing potion to at least relieve the throbbing headache he had developed. He collapsed in a chair wondering if he'd have the strength or the inclination to make it to bed or he'd simply fall asleep where he was. He had not been sat for long though when a knock at the door grabbed his attention.  
  
He raised his wand and cautiously opened the door to see Minerva McGonagall stood behind it.  
  
"Hello Severus, I thought you were back."  
  
"Been prowling the corridors in feline form have you?" He despised that as a cat she was capable of effectively spying on him without him noticing.  
  
"No, I was looking out of the window of my office and saw someone coming across the grounds, I assumed it would be you."  
  
"Well I've no new information."  
  
"That's not what I'm here for. I came to see if you were alright?"  
  
"I'm fine."  
  
She looked sceptical, "Well I also wanted to ask you to write to Remus."  
  
Remus bloody Lupin, why could he not get away from him? "Why?"  
  
"He came to see me after you'd been summoned earlier, he seemed so worried about you Severus. He really does care you know and I promised him I'd get you to write to him as soon as you got back."  
  
Severus sighed, "Do it yourself if you care so much about him."  
  
McGonagall was used to his unfriendly attitude upon returning from the Dark Lord's summons and refused to take it personally. "No. He wants to hear from you not me, he's worried about you."  
  
Irritated by the other man's seemingly endless concern and compassion Severus snapped, "He's an idiot!"  
  
"Severus! He cares about you and I'd say you're dangerously close to caring about him. Just face it Severus not everyone in this world hates you. Now write him a quick note and then get to sleep, you look terrible!"  
  
What did she expect him to look like? Severus rolled his eyes, "Fine, I will write to him, now go and let me sleep Minerva."  
  
She smiled affectionately at him, "Goodnight Severus, I'm glad you're back in one piece."  
  
He was too tired to return her smile but he nodded and when he spoke his tone was less cold than usual, "Goodnight Minerva."  
  
He watched her leave and closed the door, locking it securely to discourage any other visitors, he certainly had no intentions of answering the door if anyone else dropped by.  
  
In fact it was only the thought that the man might decide to come and find him if he didn't hear from him that made Severus decide to send Lupin a note. It was, of the two, the lesser evil.  
  
He pulled some parchment from a drawer and grabbed a quill before wondering what to write, what on earth did Lupin want to hear?  
  
Who **cared** what Lupin wanted to hear? The bloody werewolf would just have to make do with what Severus could be bothered writing, which wasn't going to be much.  
  
Why did he care? Why could the man not just leave him alone? It wasn't as though Severus even wanted anyone to care.  
  
The thought had struck him that Lupin was a distraction he could not afford, he had been thinking about him when he should have been focusing on other things and if he had been a split second longer in clearing his mind before...he didn't want to think about what would have happened. And it wouldn't have just been to him, watching the night's 'entertainment' had reminded him of the danger for anyone who got close to him. The developments in their relationship would put Lupin in danger as well and Severus never wanted to have to stand by and watch him be hurt like that. Not that he would stand by. He was angry because McGonagall had been right, he might just be dangerously close to caring about Lupin and that was the last thing he had wanted to do.  
  
Instinct was telling him to push Lupin away, to show him his concern was not wanted or welcome. He finally dipped the quill in an inkpot and scribbled a note.  
  
Minerva insisted I owl you to let you know I was alright. I'm fine, though I doubt you care anyway.  
  
Severus Snape  
  
He tied the note to his owl's leg. Thankfully the tawny owl he had had for many years lived in his rooms, flying in and out through a high open window which was a rare luxury down in the dungeons he had inhabited for so long. Had he lived in the owlery with the other owls Severus doubted he'd have bothered sending the note, he didn't have the strength or the inclination to walk that far.  
  
He stroked the owl's feathers gently, "Take this to Grimmauld Place, Iago, to Remus Lupin."  
  
Iago hooted softly, brushing Severus' hand with his wing as he took flight and left with the note.  
  
Severus watched the owl leave and wondered if he should have sent the note at all, was he simply encouraging the werewolf his in irritating habit of thinking of them as friends? That was the last thing he needed to do. Thanks to Lupin he'd hardly had a moments peace all summer, the stupid creature couldn't even leave him alone when he had been summoned and had instead decided that it was alright to risk Severus' life by keeping him hanging about asking stupid questions. Well, with any luck, the note had been too cold to encourage Lupin in any future attempts at friendship, had shown clearly that he was only writing to shut Minerva up. It would keep Lupin away from him. Show him hopefully that he didn't care.  
  
It wasn't until he was on the verge of falling asleep and knew he would not remember it the next morning though that he allowed himself to face the idea that maybe he didn't **want** to push Lupin away from him.  
  
XXXXXXX

* * *

A/N: Right, I'm going away tomorrow so the next update will be on the 10th or 11th July as I said in the last chapter. I'll try for the tenth but it may have to wait until the next day depending on when I get back.  
  
You could give me lots of reviews to come home to! Hint, hint! Just try and let me know what you think of Severus' point of view. There's a little more of that to come at the start of the last chapter, which will be the next one. I'm afraid we're nearly at an end but I will be posting a little related one-shot (see notes at end of chapter seven for details). 


	9. Chapter 9

Disclaimer: I still just own the plot.  
  
Review Responses:  
  
Marilyn, My Bitterness – I'm going to have to find a way of depriving you of that stick before you use it to bring about my untimely end! :o) Hopefully you will like this ending but I have a feeling it';s going to leave a lot of people rather frustrated! Thanks for reviewing!  
  
Dokuhebi – Here's a little more of Severus' POV before we return to poor old Remus. I'm glad people seemed to like Iago. Thanks for reviewing!  
  
Gemini Fallen Angel – Yes, I am afraid this is the last chapter! There is to be a little related one-shot though which I'll more detail about at the end. Yes I'd imagine they're going to have to cut a hell of a lot from the fourth film! I still really want to see it though! I did indeed come back to an inbox full of reviews so I'm very happy! Thanks for reviewing!  
  
Kellalor – Glad you enjoy the banter, thanks for the review!  
  
Lupine Wolf – Poor Severus has a very difficult time believing anyone can truly care for him but Remus has broken through a lot of his barriers and I think is beginning to believe him. Sorry didn't make the 10th but I was very busy! Thanks for the review!  
  
BekaJWP – I glad you liked Sev's point of view and thought it went ok! It's true though, Remus is not the only one feeling out of his depth! Thanks for the review!  
  
Snapecharmer – Yes it annoys me too when a couple suddenly out of the blue declare undying love and devotion and a need to procreate copiously! Lol! My characters don't really do sudden insanity like that. Thanks for the review!  
  
just-an-oli – Well here's the final instalment and I hope it won't disappoint but I'm afraid it may as many questions will be left hanging! Thanks for the review!  
  
Jaws – You may be a little disappointed in your quest for action but hopefully you'll enhoy this all the same! Thanks for the review!  
  
Poppy Brook – I'm so pleased you're enjoying this and I hope you're also enjoying your summer holiday! Still hard at work on the 'one fic to rule them all'? Thank for reviewing!  
  
eigerjoch – I agree that much of Sev's attraction lies in his mystery and there will be just a little more from his POV before we go back to Remus for the end of this chapter and indeed the story! I'm glad people liked the bit of him they had though! Thanks for reviewing!  
  
Capponi – Whenever I red the books I always get the impression Snape and McGonagall are friends in a funny way but that's just my interpretation. Thanks for the review!  
  
chimerical – pish posh indeed! Sev is beginning to wakr up to his feelings though, much as he'd rather not! Thanks for reviewing!  
  
Lady Dragon – Well Iago was my favourite Shakespearean character and also the name is a tribute to my friend and muse (who also happens to be the devil!) and fellow writer honestiago for all her help with this fic and everything else I write! Thanks for the review!  
  
Bonezz – Yes I enjoyed my trip very much! Don't worry about getting a bit mixed up my author's notes aren't always as clear as they could be! Glad people enjoyed Sev's POV! Thanks for the review!  
  
Nightengale – I didn't even want to write Sev;'s Point of view at first! I'm glad in came out right though! Thanks for the review!  
  
lilyqueen777 – Iago is a character from one of Shakespeare's tragedies 'Othello'. He's manipulative, a-moral and out to destroy the main character which he does remarkably well but he's just so cool! He's a very charismatic bad guy! Sev just doesn't want Remus to work out he enjoys his flirtation that and he doesn't want to admit it to himself either! Yeah the Dark Lord's as insane and idiotic as they come! One day I think Sev is going to have to let people in to care about him! Thanks for the review!  
  
Shades of Grey  
  
A/N: Last chapter so thanks to everyone who's read and reviewed so far! 107 reviews! I never thought I would get that many for this story! Sorry I didn't make the 10th but I was rather busy and to be honest I think the 10th was a little overly ambitious anyway!  
  
_Remus' Thoughts_  
  
_**Severus' Thoughts  
**_  
**Emphasis**  
  
Chapter 9  
  
Severus awoke the next morning feeling almost as tired as when he had fallen asleep. He had had a restless night and the only reason he did not simply take a sleeping potion and go back to sleep was that he felt in dire need of a shower and a change of clothes. He had noticed a small cut on his arm had not been healed properly and had leaked blood onto his nightshirt.  
  
Grumbling to himself, he showered and dressed, remembering to heal his arm and the bruises he seemed to be covered in. He absolutely refused to think about the previous night, he had long ago learnt that the best way to deal with such encounters was not to dwell on them.  
  
He tried to drink his usual morning coffee but the mere smell violently turned his stomach and he instantly vanished it. He was able after a few minutes to sip at a cup of very weak tea which was not that much help in waking him up but at least didn't cause him to feel as though he was going to lose the contents of his stomach. He wondered idly if there actually was anything in his stomach and remembered that he had not eaten since lunchtime of the previous day, however even the thought of food was unappealing in the extreme so he decided that meals would have to wait until he felt capable of keeping them down.  
  
He noticed that Iago had returned some time after he had fallen asleep, obviously he had delivered the note to Lupin but there was no return note anywhere. Severus tried to tell himself that he didn't want there to be one. He could admit though that a little human company would not be unwelcome. He made his way up to the great hall, expecting McGonagall, Dumbledore and Filch would be having breakfast there but it was empty, except for a house elf who offered him breakfast which he refused.  
  
He strolled out of the main doors into the grounds of the castle, the weather it seemed had taken a turn for the worse and the day was not as warm as previous weeks had been. Summer was coming to an end early this year. He looked across the grounds to Hagrid's hut, seeing the half giant digging in his small vegetable garden. Upon seeing him Hagrid raised a hand in greeting, Severus did not return the wave but nodded politely and walked in Hagrid's direction. It took him a long while to reach the small house but Hagrid greeted him enthusiastically and did not mention how slowly he was moving.  
  
"Good mornin' Professor."  
  
"Good morning Hagrid."  
  
"'Aven't seen much of yeh this summer."  
  
"No, I've been busy."  
  
"Bin spending a lot o' time with Remus as well, 'aven't yeh?"  
  
It was hopeless, it seemed Remus was going to haunt his steps no matter what. "Yes, I have seen a fair amount of him."  
  
**_Almost all of him thanks to the morning after the full moon_**, Severus shook his head, he most definitely did not think that this was the time to be thinking of Remus Lupin in an advanced state of undress. He cursed himself for blushing slightly at the image, which was as irritatingly pleasing to him now as when it had first met his eyes.  
  
Hagrid carried on, "Ahm just plantin' the pumpkins fer Halloween!"  
  
"Oh." Severus wasn't sure what to say, he'd never conversed with Hagrid very much and he wasn't terribly interested in the man's plans for pumpkins.  
  
"It were right nice of yeh, yeh know."  
  
Severus frowned in confusion, mostly at himself and nice being in the same sentence without a 'doesn't know how to be' in-between them, "What?"  
  
"Befriendin' Remus like yeh have. Ah know you two 'ave never really got on but 'e took Sirius' death hard and it were very good o' yeh to try and help him. 'E seems much 'appier these days."  
  
**_Yes it was so good of me to spend the summer rebuffing every attempt he made at friendship! _**Something uncomfortably close to guilt was bothering Severus.  
  
"Y'alright Professor?"  
  
"Yes, thank you Hagrid I'm fine."  
  
"Why don't yeh stop fer a cup o' tea and ah've got some fresh baked buns!"  
  
"I'm sorry Hagrid I'm not hungry and I think I should get back up to the school."  
  
"If yeh sure, bu' anytime yeh fancy a cuppa ah'd be glad ter see yeh!"  
  
"Thank you Hagrid," Severus had no intention of taking up the invitation but he had to admit there was a small part of him that felt grateful to the giant man's incessant childlike kindness.  
  
Hagrid was a little like Remus in that respect. Remus Lupin who had tried all summer to be his friend, who Hagrid thought he had been trying to help and to be kind to whereas little could be further from the truth. He had pushed Remus away in much the same way he did everyone. He was regretting his actions of the previous night, he had been tired and angry at the world and he had taken that anger and directed it onto Remus, pushing him away for what would probably be the last time. Remus had kept coming back every time so far but Severus had a feeling that even Remus Lupin's patience wasn't infinite, he had not replied to the note and that seemed to indicate that he should not hold his breath in waiting for his next visit.  
  
He sighed as he stepped back through the main doors into the school, he really was tired of being alone. He had not truly felt alone all summer, it was difficult to when a certain irritating werewolf was forever dogging his steps.  
  
Now that he wasn't there Severus found he missed him. He continued down into the dungeons and made his way slowly to his rooms. Iago greeted him with a soft hoot as he stepped inside reminding him again of the letter he had sent.  
  
He wished he had not done it, he was beginning to realise how much Remus meant to him. The man had blundered through all Severus' defences and in his own endearingly clumsy manner had won his friendship and regard. And in return Severus had been nothing but cold and uncaring, ironically enough in part because he did care and knew he couldn't afford to.  
  
He sat heavily in a chair and picked up a nearby potions text to distract himself. He lost himself in the book for the rest of the morning, looking up only when, early that afternoon, there was a knock at the door.  
  
XXXXXXX  
  
Having given Severus, what he considered, sufficient time for him to recover from the previous afternoon and evening Remus made his way half fearfully to Hogwarts. He knew these encounters hardly put Severus in a good mood and he didn't want to go and simply make things worse. It did not help that he had no idea of where they stood with each other after the previous days events.  
  
He found Severus sat in his private rooms, a glass of water on the table beside him and a book open on his lap. He looked up as Remus knocked then continued in. What looked suspiciously like a small but genuine smile crossed his face, "I would have thought you'd have learnt your lesson about walking in before being asked."  
  
Remus smiled back at him, "Well if I started learning from my mistakes then it wouldn't be me would it?"  
  
"I suppose not," Severus set aside his book, "Can I get you a drink?"  
  
The man looked weary and stressed and Remus shook his head, "No, you sit down. I just came to see if you were alright?"  
  
"I'm a Death Eater Lupin, not an invalid," Severus sneered, defences shooting up at the mention of possible weakness.  
  
"You're not a Death Eater."  
  
Severus rolled back the sleeve of his robes to reveal the dark mark, burning black against the pale skin, "This says otherwise."  
  
"You were, you're not now," Remus insisted.  
  
"Well do me a favour and don't go shouting about that. I'm not ready to die just yet, particularly not because you can't keep your mouth shut." Severus looked up suddenly, "What are you doing?!"  
  
Remus had taken hold of his arm, covering the Dark Mark with his hand, "This is not who you are."  
  
Severus snatched his arm away in what looked close to alarm, "How would you know?"  
  
"I just do."  
  
"No you don't, you don't know me at all!"  
  
"Well I have been trying to remedy that but you keep pushing me away," Remus pointed out calmly.  
  
Severus was hit by the truth in that statement. "Remus, I am far too tired for another argument about that!"  
  
Remus sat in silence for a moment.  
  
"What?!" Severus demanded, insecurity plaguing him as Remus gazed at him.  
  
"You called me Remus."  
  
The man looked momentarily surprised as he realised that he had indeed used the other man's first name, "Well I'll be sure not to do it again, **Lupin**!"  
  
Remus sighed, "When you left the last Order meeting it was because you'd been summoned then as well wasn't it?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
Remus weighed up the chances of getting himself killed if he asked what he wanted to and decided to risk it. "Severus, why did you join them? I know I've got no right to ask this but did it have anything to do with Sirius, James and I?"  
  
"Don't flatter yourself."  
  
"It had nothing to do with us then?" Remus pressed.  
  
"I didn't say that. I was alone Remus, alright? I saw someone who could offer me a future, my friends were all doing it so I did too. It was what everyone expected of me anyway, it wasn't like I was letting anyone down."  
  
"I didn't expect it of you, I don't even think Sirius did really. He became a little bit more sympathetic to people doing stupid things after the death of his brother. James and Peter thought you would but then they thought all the Slytherins would."  
  
Severus rolled his eyes, "A point of view that is still alive and kicking today."  
  
"Yes I noticed, but the Slytherins themselves don't seem too bothered about changing it sometimes."  
  
"Maybe they just don't see why they should have to defend themselves to the rest of the world?" Severus sneered before adding more quietly, "Or maybe some of them have just started to believe it."  
  
Remus smiled reassuringly, "They'll be alright."  
  
"No they won't. They're going to be anything but alright and there's little that can be done to help most of them if they're not willing to help themselves, which many aren't."  
  
"Well they've got one thing going for them."  
  
"What's that?"  
  
"You. You'll make sure they pull through somehow."  
  
"I wish I could."  
  
"You can, you make a difference just by being there Severus and if nothing else you give them someone who can understand what they're going through in a way none of the rest of the staff can. That's the job of a head of house, and it's a job you're very good at."  
  
Severus shrugged off the comment, looking uncomfortable at the sudden praise, "I seem to spend more time in these dungeons now than I ever did when I was at school here."  
  
"Well I spend more time here now than I did when **I** was at school. Besides if you were ever looking to escape this little sanctuary turned prison of yours you're always welcome at Grimmauld Place."  
  
"I think you're the only one who would say that, and what do you mean 'sanctuary turned prison'?"  
  
"Well you act like this is your sanctuary but at the same time you're trapped here. It's quite ironic really."  
  
"Well as long as you're getting some kind of entertainment value out of it all!" Severus looked distinctly unamused.  
  
"You know I didn't mean that!"  
  
"Of course you didn't, when have you ever enjoyed a laugh at my expense?" Severus asked sarcastically.  
  
"Yes, because that wasn't you laughing the morning I had to leave here was it?"  
  
Severus smirked, "Well I have to admit that was one of my better mornings!"  
  
"Severus! Do you feel at all guilty?"  
  
"No."  
  
Remus couldn't help but be slightly amused by the man's clear lack of remorse. "You heartless creature, tossing a poor helpless werewolf back on the streets to starve in the gutter."  
  
Severus looked like he was fighting something until suddenly he laughed at the ridiculously sad face Remus had affected.  
  
Remus had rarely ever seen the man look so happy and carefree as he did when he laughed. A strange jolt ran through him as he realised it was him who brought about that happiness.  
  
"What?" Severus had caught him staring.  
  
Remus smiled, "Nothing."  
  
"You know all I did was tell people the truth," Severus smirked.  
  
"Of course! You were carrying out your civic duty!" Remus grinned.  
  
"Well how do you think I would have felt if you'd eaten one of my Slytherins and I could have prevented it?"  
  
"If I'd eaten one of Minerva's Gryffindors though I get the impression you might have thrown a party!"  
  
Severus seemed to consider this for a moment, "Would depend which one it was, I'd like it to be Potter or Granger most. Both if you could manage it."  
  
"I'd be more likely to eat one of your darling little Slytherins who just **had** to tell the rest of the school all about my condition!" Remus laughed.  
  
"Well I seem to remember that story died out a lot quicker than one involving me in Longbottom's grandmother's dress!" Severus growled.  
  
Remus burst out laughing. "Don't forget the hat and the big red handbag!"  
  
Severus scowled and looked rather sour. "You never did grow up did you?"  
  
Remus shook his head, "That's what Dumbledore said, he didn't seem to appreciate that incident. Come to think of it I'm amazed I'm still alive, why didn't you kill me for that? Why have you never killed me? You must really like me!"  
  
"Remember that wolfsbane potion you didn't drink at the end of that year? Well let's just say I'm really sorry you didn't drink it, it could have ended all our problems."  
  
Remus was unsure as to how much truth was in Severus words, you could never quite tell how much he meant his death threats. "I'm never drinking any potion you make again!"  
  
"Yes and how long do you really think you could last, or are you going to sell your own liver and buy an inferior product on the black market?"  
  
"I've survived without it before."  
  
Severus smirked but then took on a more serious expression as inside he began to feel guilty for not simply admitting that the reason he hadn't hurt Remus was that he did like him. "How old were you when you got bitten?"  
  
"Six." Remus was slightly thrown by the sudden change in tone of the conversation.  
  
"Do you remember it?"  
  
"Yes." He nodded awkwardly, "I don't remember not having to be locked up at the full moon though, it feels like this has always been a part of me now."  
  
Severus raised an eyebrow, seeming more intrigued than anything else.  
  
"I can remember the first time you brewed the wolfsbane for me, part of me kept hearing James' voice in my head telling me you'd probably poisoned it."  
  
"What made you drink it then?" Severus asked curiously.  
  
"I suppose I trusted you. That and the fact that I'd have tried almost anything to stop myself going through that every month. It was driving me up the wall, particularly without the others being around anymore for various reasons. I didn't even thank you, did I? I thanked Dumbledore when he gave it to me but though he hinted I should look you out and thank you I never did. Until I came to work at Hogwarts, at which time you let me know in no unclear terms that you were only doing it because you didn't want me biting someone."  
  
Severus smirked again, "There are enough werewolves out there already Remus, we don't need you recruiting."  
  
Remus was dying to mention that Severus had, once again, called him by his first name but he decided that there was more chance of him doing it again in the future if he simply didn't mention it. "You're just trying to foil my evil plan to repopulate the world with werewolves!"  
  
"These students are bad enough as they are, give them chance to eat each other every month and we'd have organised chaos on our hands, well more so than we already do, so I'm afraid I can't allow you to carry out that plan."  
  
"Damn!" Remus grinned, "It was going to be so much fun!"  
  
Severus laughed and stood up, "I think I'll make some tea, do you want some?"  
  
"That would be nice, yes."  
  
As Severus busied himself with the tea Remus looked at him in admiration, the way he kept going no matter what the world threw at him was nothing short of amazing. Then again, Remus reflected, Severus was a fairly amazing person. Suddenly he smiled to himself, _perhaps it's time someone told him that_. He began to speak, to tell the other man how he felt when he realised Severus had begun saying something at the same time.  
  
The potions master turned around, "Sorry, what were you going to say?"  
  
Remus shook his head, "No, it's alright, you go first."  
  
"I just wanted to say," Severus hesitated, looking awkward, "Thank you. Your concern over my activities with the Death Eaters is deeply irritating but I am grateful for it. Annoying as you are you have helped to take my mind off things this summer, and I don't intend to ever say anything as pleasant as that to you again so make the most of it Remus."  
  
Remus smiled, deeply touched by the man's quiet thanks and by the troubles clear in his dark eyes. "You're more than welcome."  
  
"So, what were **you** going to say?"  
  
He shook his head again, "Oh nothing Severus, I'm just glad we seem to be getting on better."  
  
"Yes well don't get used to it, I don't need you getting too comfortable and starting to bring in fleas," the other man smirked in a friendly manner.  
  
Remus snorted, "Severus, you're impossible."  
  
For the moment Severus had far too much on his plate for Remus to even consider telling him how he felt. He needed a friend not more complications in his life. Maybe in the future, if they both survived this war, he sighed and wondered at the likelihood of that. Still though, for now it was as good a reason as any to keep fighting; the look on Severus' face Remus imagined would be utterly priceless and he had every intention of ensuring they were both alive to see it. After that, well then at least the ball would no longer be in his court, but if the other man's gently thawing attitude was any indication Remus had a feeling he might have more hope then most people would have believed.  
  
The End  
  
XXXXXXX

* * *

A/N: Ok, try to hold back urges to kill me for that ending! This isn't their time but their time will come one day I'm sure!  
  
Anyway, next week I'll post a one shot connected with this, it's set at the same time but is mostly about Charlie and Tonks there are a couple of Sev and Remus hints though. After that I'm starting on a new idea altogether, it's about Percy after the events of the fifth book.  
  
So why not drop a review and tell me what you thought of the ending, I already anticipate people not liking it and in it's defence I say just take a moment to think of the multiple problems in the two of them embarking on a relationship at this particular time! I think Remus needs more time to deal with Sirius' death and Sev has a hell of a lot to cope with as it is. Anyway thank you to everyone who read this story and I hope you enjoyed it. 


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